The holidays are here, which means spending lots of time with family and loved ones. However, sometimes there are certain relatives who perhaps did something you felt was disrespectful, or there’s a history there that makes it hard for you to interact with them the same way you would with relatives you’re more comfortable with. In high school, I was the absolute worst at dealing with family members I was uncomfortable with. I was passive-aggressive, irritable and just plain rude to them. As a person who used the silent treatment like it was nobody’s business when I was younger, I’m here to say it is not effective nor healthy. Here are some healthier ways to get through the holidays with family members you don’t get along with.
Courtesy of Giphy
- If you’re able to, try to have someone on your side who you can talk to
-
This can be another family member who you’re close to; a good, quick venting session right before a family gathering is always great. However, if this isn’t possible, texting your friends can be just as helpful. Having one person in your corner can help a lot.
- You don’t have to have full, in-depth conversations with them
-
You don’t even have to have any conversations with them at all! Obviously, if they initiate a conversation, it’s best to be polite and respond for as long as it lasts, but if they don’t talk to you, then you don’t have to talk to them. You can still be civil and polite to someone without talking to them.
- It’s alright to remove yourself when things start to feel like too much to handle
-
A simple, “Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom really quick,” is all you need to say. Go, take the time you need to collect yourself, and then go back out there and stuff your face with some pumpkin pie. The best thing about going to the bathroom is that you can do it as many times as you need to.
- You don’t have to forgive and forget, but you can let go for the time being
-
In the end, it’s the holidays and you should try to make the most out of the situation. Remember that being around this person or people is not permanent. Being actively upset or mad is exhausting, and you deserve to have a good time with the people that you do care about.
Ultimately, you know yourself better than anyone else. You even know yourself better than this article does! Recognize what you can and cannot handle with your family, and most importantly, eat a lot of sweet potatoes.
Courtesy of Giphy