Recently I got a call for an interview. The interview was at a local sports club/gym and they were looking for someone to handle memberships and some front desk stuff. One of my friends overheard my conversation with them and asked me about it once I hung up the phone with them.
She asked me about the call and about the interview. After explaining to her the job and location she looked at me and with a completely straight face she said, “You know you’ll never get that job. Right?” I looked back at her with an expression that must have said, “What are you talking about?” because she then proceeded to explain.
*”You’re never going to get that job because you don’t look like them. You’re fat. They don’t hire people like you because you don’t fit in with them. You’re not going to get the job. Are you even going to bother interviewing with them?”
It took me a minute or so to get over the shock of what she had said and in the moment I brushed it off. I was so extremely horrified at what she had said that I was speechless. While I am sure that some industries and some companies work like that, this was not a modeling position and they had called me in for a reason and I’m sure that reason had more to do with my skills than how many times a week I go to the gym.
I brushed off the incident but it stuck with me. Then, she brought it up again a few days before the interview. She asked me why I was even going to the interview because I clearly wasn’t going to get it. This time I had something to say. “Yes. I am going. It is an interview for a job and I need a job. Also, I am qualified for the position and they are interested in me. Why wouldn’t I go?” Her response was similar to before when she said, “You’re not skinny and tiny and they are never going to hire you. Don’t waste your time.” I played along and played dumb and asked her to explain. “You don’t get it. This is how it works here [in New York]. People will hire you because of how you look. No one cares what your [application] says. You don’t look like what they want.”
Again. I was a bit speechless and it took me a few seconds to respond. My response also references a conversation we had prior about people at her work judging her for her body type and how hurt and frustrated she was by the entire situation.
“What do you mean I don’t understand? They called me in for an interview. I am going.” She started laughing and looked at me and said, “I don’t get how you don’t understand this.” To which I then responded with “I understand. Don’t worry. I understand what you are saying. What I don’t understand is why you are saying this. After being frustrated with people at your work for making comments to you about your weight, what makes you think it is ok for you to do the same?”
She tried to continue the conversation but at the point it was clear that she was not going to understand my position and there was no way that I was going to accept her’s. The conversation ended there but it stuck with me.
Why is it that we complain and get annoyed with others for criticizing us and then we turn around and do it to each other? Also, while I am sure there are instances of people being discriminated against for a job based on their body type, I am confident that it does not happen in all organizations all the time.
Maybe the world works like this and I am just so incredibly naive that I really don’t get it. I am confident however that this is not the case.
My hope is that you read this and are able to relate in some way and maybe pass along advice for how to handle a situation like this. Maybe this has happened to you and I’m sure you handled it better than I did.
*The quotes are not totally exact but pretty close to it.