January is well underway now, but looking back on the past holidays I wanted to share what I learned about spending Christmas and New Year’s in another country for the first time in my life. In the previous years, I had always spent the holidays in Finland with my parents and sisters, but this time I headed to France to be with my boyfriend and his family.
If you are going to spend any traditional holidays that are important to you in another country this year, for example with your partner’s family, you may have some concerns about being away from your family and friends, and being in a culture that is less familiar to you than your own. Here are some tips that may help you cope with these concerns and really enjoy your holidays abroad!
Put your guilt away
You may feel sad or even guilty about not being with your family, but your sadness or guilt won’t do much good, because it will make neither yours nor your family’s holiday better. It is easier to put your guilt away if your family understands and accepts you not being there, but even if they don’t, ask yourself if they really have the right to make you feel guilty. Also, your holiday patterns are likely to change at some point in your life anyway, so you might as well get used to making compromises.
Besides, being away doesn’t mean not caring or not being present at all; you can ease yours and/or their longing by skyping and messaging, and sharing your experiences. When you get a chance to discover new places and new things, do your best to enjoy!
Be kind to yourself
I’m one to always analyse the small encounters I have with people and kick myself when I feel like I’ve done something wrong or embarrassing. If you are like this, you should definitely practice being kind to yourself when operating in another country. Of course some differences between you and another person may be differences between families, individuals or any different subcultures rather than differences between national cultures, but still, it’s especially easy to embarrass yourself in a foreign country and language.
If you feel like you “screwed up”, for example were accidentally rude to someone, try to let it go. All you can do is your best to be kind, and if someone else doesn’t meet you halfway by acknowledging that you are from a different culture, that is out of your hands. Also, it’s a bit of a cliché but a smile often goes a long way – it suggests you at least mean well, no matter how weird you may come across.
Try to speak the language
Languages, cultures and identities are very much intertwined, so trying to speak the language of your hosts shows interest in them and their culture. Even if you only know a few words, it’s often better than nothing at all. And if you really want to learn the local language, you just have to try – of course this is easier if other people try to accommodate to your level, to allow you to say something when your level is such that you simply can’t take part in casual, fast conversation. But for this to happen, they may need to know that you want to try – if you can tell them straight out that you want to learn the language, chances are that they will pay attention to creating chances for you to practice.
Quite simply, don’t be too high-maintenance
Especially since you are from a different country, you may be used to different patterns of everyday life, different rules of communication and so on. It can be hard for you to change your habits, but as a guest you are required to accommodate to some degree. This is not to say that you can’t hold on to any of your habits, or that you should do things that go against your values, or that your culture should become invisible. However, I think that as a guest it’s good to be open-minded to new things, and it’s polite to accommodate to local customs. This way you’re also likely to discover new, wonderful customs and really make the most out of your time not being home. Of course you can also tell other people about your country, by bringing souvenirs and telling them about how you spend the holidays, for example – most likely someone will ask you anyway, because they also want to learn about you!