Do you often find yourself going green with envy for the girl next to you? We all have heard that jealousy is one of the deadly sins and we should feel bad if we feel it. However, you can also make use of your jealousy and turn it into an asset. Here are our four tips on how to embrace jealousy and turn it into something positive!
Admit it!
I’m the first to admit that I envy many of my friends. As a child, I envied one of my friends for having the prettiest voice in our school and another for her artistic abilities (I myself could barely draw a stick figure). Nowadays, I find myself envying those naturally outgoing and super energetic people who have their calendars filled with exciting events and the best parties, while I often choose a quiet evening at home with Netflix, books and pajamas. However, I’ve never been ashamed to admit my jealousy because I’ve never thought ill of these girls. Instead of secretly wondering why they should be such task-masters and lives of the party when I’m not, I openly admire them and let them inspire me.
Identify it!
When I find myself envying someone, the first thing I do is try to think WHY? What is it exactly that I envy them for? If I can identify a specific reason for my jealousy, I think whether that thing is something that I’m sure I don’t already have (because, honestly, we often have more amazing things in our lives than we even know) and, if the answer is ”yes”, is it REALLY something that I want to have. And here’s the thing – if I’m positive I do want to have that certain thing, I don’t turn an evil eye on them but instead set a goal and start working towards it. For example, if I always find myself envying my more outgoing friends, the next time that I’m asked to go somewhere, instead of staying at home I could accept the invitation and go – even if just for a short while to try how it feels. Often I will actually enjoy myself, even if I may feel shy at first. You don’t need to change your habits all at once or turn into a completely different person but you could always try something out and see how it feels.
Ask for tips!
So, even if you do envy someone, there’s no need to treat them like an enemy. It’s not away from you if other people have nice things in their lives. Instead, why not tell them how you feel and ask them how they’ve achieved what they have now? Most likely, they’ll be flattered and you’ll get invaluable first-hand tips on how to improve different aspects of your life, too! Also, the idea that someone could be envying them probably hasn’t even crossed their minds, so you could really make them see how special they are (and let’s be honest, we collegiettes could all use that kind of boost every now and then).
Know your limits!
However, it is crucial to know yourself and learn which things are achievable to you and which ones just aren’t worth it. For me, I may learn to become at least somewhat more outgoing. Still, learning to draw as well as my friend, who’s practiced her whole life, would require years and years of active practicing and, for me, with my already crazy busy schedule, it just isn’t likely to get on the top of my priority list. Or, if I should come to a conclusion that I just happen to be one of those people who like quiet evenings at home, I should try and accept it as a part of who I am. Every now and then, it is important to remind yourself of all the great things that you already have in your life and that you’re good at. There will probably always be some things that you cannot do – but I bet there are a bunch of pretty awsome ones that you can!