As the months and years pass by, I seem to forget the most helpful lessons the most easily. Despite being told of the importance of relaxing and knowing yourself, I still panic during stressful times and blame myself for getting too overwhelmed. I still sometimes make myself believe that I am the sole, only person in the world going through certain emotions and challenges. Often, I catch myself trying to be cool and collected, forgetting to salute my inner child who yearns to explore, learn, and love. This is a small list reminding me of the important lessons.
I. The struggles actually do make you stronger
Being homesick in Korea felt like the hardest time of my life. It was complete horror, emotions flying everywhere, and I’d spend my time comparing everything to the way things are back home. I couldn’t do anything but to watch familiar films and tv-shows, something comforting, telling myself I was going to go home as soon as possible. Slowly, my friends got me out of the slump, and step by step life started to get easier. I realized I could do miraculous things, and that I was not alone at all. Now I’m counting days to when I’ll be going home, but the pain has turned into excitement and appreciation towards this place. It is another home, and the challenging time I went through made me realize what are the most important things in life.
II. Being overwhelmed is natural and there is probably nothing wrong with you
It’s the easiest thing to analyze and blame oneself for not being able to deal with it all. In addition to our personal thoughts and feelings, we are now bombarded by news from all around the world. I tend to think about the things happening right now, all that has happened, and all that could happen in the future. I unconsciously compare myself to the roles people perform not only in real life, but also on the internet. I try to desperately fulfill the roles of being a student, a friend, a daughter or a citizen myself. Seeing this pattern on paper, it is not surprising that people suffer from burnouts, addiction, depression and countless other mental and physical problems. We all want to feel as safe as possible. Healing has meant that instead of resorting to hobbies that aren’t that great for me or the planet, I practice tending toward meaningful routines for safety. Cooking, reading, doing sports or spending time with friends. When I allow myself to dedicate time to these activities instead of worrying, it is a bit easier to deal with the overwhelming.
III. We are all the same inside
We all want to be loved and accepted. We want to survive and live a healthy and happy life. And if we want to live a healthy and happy life, it means that all beings do. Thus, it does not make sense that so many systems in our world are designed to hurt some and benefit the others. Abusing that will in ourselves does not make sense either, but again, it seems to be one of the ways we deal with the overwhelming. If we want to be healthy and happy, we should start thinking about the things that unify us, and the will to live might be one of the most meaningful of them all. I find that, when I feel somehow different or isolated, just remembering that we are all working to stay healthy and happy with each other helps me to feel connected again.
IV. Your inner child is creative and loved and enough
The child inside of me is a small girl with crazy hair, and she loves cinnamon buns and milk (these days that’ll be oat or soy, thanks). She loves to paint, play with her friends, and examine the little branches on a bush in the playground. She’d spend hours in the library looking at pictures when she did not yet know how to read. She’d tell her parents how incredible she thought they were – how could adults be so knowledgeable and tall and funny? She did her best in whatever task she faced, so even though she once fell in the skiing elevator five times in a row, the tearful embarrassment turned into excitement soon enough. She loved to swim, so when summer came, she would swim in the lake for four hours non-stop, until she started to resemble seaweed. Although she made mistakes, she was keen to learn from them and apologize. So, without being too cheesy or nostalgic, although that might be too late, I realize that a lot of pain builds up when I try to be anything else than her. She is to be treated with understanding and warmth. I am to be treated with understanding and warmth.
It is easy to forget but may be even easier to remember – and how comforting is that.