With one of the most diverse campuses in the United States, it’s a no-brainer that the men are going to come in an array of flavors. Which ones have you had a taste of?
That one older guy.
Upon meeting, you were probably really impressed with his ambitions of becoming something medical related and receiving a bachelor’s in molecular-whatever. Unfortunately, you failed to miss the fact that he was a fifth year senior at a lower classmen party. Still yet, you continued to see him until his creepiness finally got the best of you and you realized the sophisticated man was just a child in disguise.
Attire: Buttoned-down dress shirt with jeans and sneakers.
Domain: The freshmen courtyard (usually with a cigarette), or Manoa Gardens.
Preferred pickup line: “How old are you?”
Beta Kappa Phi Delta Yada Yada Brother.
While Greek life barely exists at UH, you somehow managed to snag yourself a Chubbies wearing, keg worshipping, frat guy. Although his popularity and worldly personality were great at first, the consistent partying became tiring after awhile and your breakup was probably really dramatic. Now you never show your face at the frat socials and all the brothers have shunned you.
Attire: Usually shirtless or pastel polo, Chubbies, and knock-off Ray Bans in the brightest color possible.
Domain: The frat house.
Preferred pickup line: “Let me get you another beer.”
Gone with the wind aka the transfer.
Okay, so this one is more of a hook-up, but it happened still. And it happened for quite sometime until one of you got bored and stopped texting/calling the other. Then, without warning, he transferred out of Hawaii to a mainland college. Now, you see his life updates on Facebook occasionally and wonder what would have happened if he stayed.
Attire: Nothing significant: plain shirt, shorts, and sandals.
Domain: Around campus.
Preferred pickup line: Literally nothing memorable.
That one dude in the service.
Everyone said not to, but you did anyway. While military men are great because they protect our country, they have a bad stigma when it comes to relationships. You knew this too, but you couldn’t resist his chiseled arms and perfect buzz cut. Unfortunately, he wanted things to move way too fast and you had to dip. He probably texted and called a million times after the break up, but hey, it’s over now.
Attire: When not in uniform, polo shirts and crisp shorts.
Domain: Everywhere, this aina is small!
Preferred pickup line: “Will you marry me?”
The football player.
With over 80 members on the team, it’s easy to get involved with a football player, especially because they’re on point with the creepy pickup lines. Sadly, the relationship is usually short-lived because women are throwing themselves left and right at these muscular men. It was good while it lasted and you gained a small amount of fame from dating a D1 football player – props to you!
Attire: Sweats, a UH football shirt, slides with ankle socks.
Domain: The gym and outside The Market.
Preferred pickup line: *Takes shirt off.
Local kine.
Sure his jargon was a little confusing but his tanned skin, tribal sleeve tattoo, and ability to body surf like Jesus had you drooling. What could have possibly gone wrong? Maybe all his aunties, uncles, sistahs, and friends became too overwhemling. Or maybe he spent more time at Sandy’s than with you. Maybe nothing went wrong and you’re still with him – go you!
Attire: Boardshorts, cutoff tshirt or no shirt at all, slippahs.
Domain: Eastside beaches.
Preferred pickup line: “Ho, howzit killah?”
Wannabe local kine guy.
This guy lived in Hawaii for a few years yet believed himself to be a direct descendant of King Kamehameha III. At first you believed him to be local but then his “accent” seemed forced and actual locals seemed to dislike him. Eventually he came out and told you he grew up in Colorado and everything seemed like a lie from there on out. Bummer.
Attire: Defend Hawaii shirt and shorts.
Domain: Diamond Head beaches because he’s too scared to actually venture further East.
Preferred pickup line: “Ho, howzit killah?”
The “I’m from THE Bay,” guy.
It seems everywhere you turn somebody is reppin’ the Bay Area in Northern California – there might be a Bay Area native in every four persons. Logically, you were bound to run into this cutie at one point and though his expensive, white teeth were enticing at first, his over-the-top attitude became irritating and you bolted.
Attire: Billabong shirt, shorts, and sandals.
Domain: Literally everywhere on campus.
Preferred pickup line: “I’m from THE Bay.”
808HighLife Guy.
This guy found you on social media and you accepted because the shared mutual friends count was high, much like he usually is. Although you enjoyed chilling on his couch and watching movies, his lack of desire to do anything else became a huge problem and he had to go – you can only watch so much Netflix. At least he has connections.
Attire: Whatever he finds laying on the floor of his room.
Domain: His room, the hut, and secluded places on campus.
Preferred pickup line: “Hey.”