2020 did not start well for the world—wildfires, virus outbreaks, impeachment trials, and breakups. This article is mainly about how to deal with a breakup, but these tips may be applicable for someone who simply wants to work on themselves!
I recently got dumped at the beginning of the year and it was ROUGH. I thought I was going to marry this boy, have a future, the whole works! However, that did not work out at the end (clearly). It was extremely difficult to get over someone you loved so much and have them just throw everything away. Nevertheless, breakups are an actual blessing in disguise because nothing motivates you more than getting dumped by a guy that doesn’t deserve you at your best!
So here are my five tips on how to cope after a breakup!
- Therapy
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After a fresh breakup its always best to have a support system to help you get through something as traumatic as a breakup. The aftershock of a breakup equates to almost losing a loved one, so it is important to find support from friends and/or family. What worked the best for me is therapy. Luckily, UHM offers 10 free counseling sessions for students! During this time of grieving, pain, and mixed emotions its best to talk to someone with a professional background to help guide you through these intense emotions. The best part (for me at least) is the mindfulness exercises they teach you! This gives you a break from all these intense emotions.
- Gym & Diet
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Right after my breakup, I decided to get abs and start focusing on my diet. Whether the breakup was bad or good the best revenge is to show them what they’re missing even though mentally YOU ARE JUST NOT THERE. Find the time to set aside and go to the gym! Let those endorphins out and feel accomplished! Focusing on your physical health is another way to take your mind off of the emotions and breakup. Research about what workouts work for you, what healthy recipes fit your budget and tastes, just keep your mind busy!
- Clean & Cleanse
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While you cleanse your body with veggies and fruits, you should also cleanse your room. Get rid of all the things you received or associated with your ex; you can either throw them away or box them up and leave it somewhere where you feel too lazy to go to. Take this time to also purge your room—get rid of all the trinkets, clothes, and stuff that you never use or wear. A clean room translates to a clear mindset!
- Self-Help Books & Podcasts
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During this time, you’ll probably feel alone despite people in your life telling you they’ve gone through the same thing. It’s hard to believe that anybody else could feel the way you feel but they have and they’re okay now (and so will you). Listening and reading to self-help material has helped me get through the tough moments. Nothing makes you feel normal than somebody tells you the EXACT emotions they felt during their breakup and why. These podcasts and books are extremely helpful when you HAVE to be alone. Podcasts help fill the silence, so you won’t feel like you’re alone because eventually, you will have to face it.
• Self-Helpless (podcast)
• Help Me Be Me (podcast)
• When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (book)
- Splurge!
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Nothing but a little spending to keep your mind off of things. Going to the mall or even online shopping can help you take your mind off of things. Purchasing clothes will help you boost your confidence and morale a bit; if you feel cute on the outside you’ll feel cute on the inside! If you already don’t, buy a small plant! It’s been told that seeing a bit of greenery can boost your mental health. Depending on your schedule and availability start with something low-maintenance like—succulents, cactuses, bamboo, anything that doesn’t require you to tend constantly (but if you got the time, go for it!). Just treat yourself, you need it and deserve it.
But at the end of the day, the only way to heal is time. I know, I hated hearing it too and I still hate hearing it but it’s true. It’s been roughly three weeks after my breakup and I feel better. You start to realize that you don’t need them to be happy, that eventually things will get better, and you will be way happier without them! Just give yourself time and take it easy, it’s been fucking rough for you and you deserve a break.