In just under a week, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo has broken charts and reminded millions of their own heartbreak. As a typical break-up anthem, it takes you through Rodrigo's heartbreak and all of the memories and insecurities that still follow her... broken promises, failed plans, and the confusion of wanting to be with someone even though they aren't the best for you.
I think we can all agree that if you’ve gone through heartbreak, these lyrics hit differently. I found myself relating to practically the whole song and soon enough, this song was on repeat.
"She's everything I'm insecure about"
We’ve all been there. Especially me. The perfect, beautiful girl that is everything you wish you are. Maybe its the girl in class, or the girl down the hall. Maybe you don't have to worry about anything, but the insecurities overpower everything, and you begin to wonder if you're good enough. You try and try to be like her but you just can’t. I remember the times I spent insecure and being told "he's with you for a reason, not her", but that insecurity is just stuck on you.
"And I know we weren't perfect / But I've never felt this way for no one / And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone"
That gut-wrenching pain of knowing the two of you aren’t working out the way it should be. Why can’t it just click? It doesn’t make sense. It feels like a promise has been ripped from you. Eventually, you have to go on as if life is normal. I think during breakups a lot of us delay our healing by telling ourselves that we'll never meet anyone like them again. Questions like "will I ever love someone the way I loved them" run endlessly through your mind, and the truth? Well, no, you won't. Every connection you have with somebody is different, and that isn't bad- it's just a different kind of love. You'll still have that special place in your heart for them, but you have to make room for someone else to eventually do the same. Isn't that something to look forward to?
"'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street"
That moment when you remember all of the forever promises they made. You become haunted by the memories the two of you created; now, you're strangers again. You'll celebrate birthdays and milestones without them by your side, and force yourself to forget your anniversaries. This person who you said forevers with is now a stranger, this person who knows your deepest secrets, your true self, your love for them. You woke up to their good morning texts, they kissed you endlessly and told you they would do anything for you. How can this person, who you loved more than anything, suddenly become a passing face on the street? Where does all of that love go? I think that this is the most painful part of heartbreak. To hold such an intimate connection with someone and to then have to force yourself to move on. There's nothing like that.
"I kinda feel sorry for them / 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do"
When you're in a relationship, you get to know every little thing about your partner. You know their secrets, fears, what makes them laugh, and what makes them cry. It's a joy to know a side of them that nobody else gets to see. I've found myself in this position before because you begin to feel bad that your friends don't get to know them in the way you do. Then there's this contentment in that only you get to know them this way. They trust you with their most vulnerable self and you're the only one who gets to really see this invisible side.
"I still see your face in the white cars, front yards / Can't drive past the places we used to go to"
All of those memories flood your mind when you go out in public. You tried to get them to escape, but they follow you wherever you go. The restaurants, the parks, the malls, where you had your first date. Where you stayed till the restaurant closed because you were having so much fun with them, where you laughed with no end, where you shared your first kiss. Those memories used to be so precious, but now the thought of them makes me want to scream. It feels impossible to ignore them because every corner is associated with that person somehow. For me, every time I pass a place we used to go to, there's this pain in my chest knowing that we won't be like that again. Eventually, over time, you learn how to find peace with it, or else your heart will never heal. You have to find a way to close this chapter of your life.