Things All Women Should Keep In Their Purse

THINGS WOMEN SHOULD KEEP IN THEIR PURSE 

a listicle by yo grrls

(most words by Becca, def apropros media by Momo) 

1) Unbridled love of boy bands, small things, cute animals and chocolate that doesn’t seem to fade with age!

 

 

... https://play.spotify.com/user/1273119728/playlist/6onusG0tmGa5LgA44risyW

2) A disdain for the patriarchy

 

3) Body image problems 

4) A fear of spiders bordering on the irrational 

5) A fear of walking around after 10 pm

6) A long list of ex-lovers who have freaked out in the face of rejection

 

7) At least five to ten tasteful, classic, and unique Halloween costumes such as: 

  • Sexy cat

  • Sexy school teacher

  • Sexy nurse

  • Sexy sailor

  • Sexy referee

  • Sexy witch

  • Sexy vampire

  • Sexy devil

  • Sexy bunny

  • Sexy racist Indian costume

  • Sexy anything that includes fishnets and/or high socks

 

8) A locked, bolted and welded shut safe of all pictures taken during what all women refer to as the notorious “rough patch” which occurs generally between 6th-9th grade. The rough patch may or may not include:

  • Braces
  • Crimped hair
  • Pictures edited on Picnik 
  • Feather extensions
  • Lower-than-low jeans 
  • Uggs
  • Purple eye liner
  • Juicy sweat pants
  • An unhealthy obsession with sexting a.k.a telling a guy how hot he is on a scale of 1-10        
  • And last- but most importantly -a darkness filled with angst and confusion that can really only be compared with the inside of a Hollister store

9) Tweezers to pluck the occasional hair on your chin that make you question all of your femininity

10) An infinite chalkboard that has one line for every time a woman has used the word “like” in a sentence

11) Tampon