#StudentAthleteProblems: The Weightroom

Before coming to college, I was mistakenly under the impression that only body-builders and the cast members of The Jersey Shore hit the gym on a regular basis to pump insane amounts of iron. Little did I know, that within a year, I too would be a dumbbell expert. And, it’s all thanks to Haverford’s own weight room.
 
Let’s start by saying that the Haverford College weight room is not for the faint of heart. For many, it can be an anxiety-provoking, and sometimes even a downright dangerous location (I’ve witnessed people get injured). But, as a student athlete, you have to overcome all of these trials (box jumps) and tribulations (squatting) in order to learn perfect combo lift form and, as Cory Walts would say, “maximize your genetics”. In order to accomplish these feats, here are a few simple rules to abide by:
 
1.    Get on Cory Walts’ Good Side: First of all, when in his vicinity, have good posture. If you slouch, not only will he ridicule you for a poor parental upbringing, but he’ll also be the first to diagnose you with a spinal disorder. Secondly, whenever there is a lull in conversation, just tell him you ate a healthy breakfast or that you think your biceps have grown. He should respond positively to either statement. And, third, when in doubt, just congratulate him on his recent engagement!
 
2.    Don’t care too much about looking awkward. If you’re an athlete at Haverford and you’re in possession of the sacred lifting card, you’re going to do some weird things in the weight room. At first. it may cause anxiety to have to flop up and down on top of an exercise ball like a beached whale in front of your peers, but at some point you just have to stop worrying. The majority of the people in the weight room have to do equally unattractive exercises as well. So, they probably aren’t judging you too much. And, let’s be honest, there’s no way that weighted hip raises are ever going to look non-sexual no matter how hard you try. It’s just not possible. Really, it isn’t.
 
3.    When Cory whips out the Flip cam, don’t be afraid. Once of Cory’s favorite learning tools just so happens to be the handy dandy, flippable Flip cam! While it may seem somewhat intimidating at first, it really is just what Cory says it is: a fabulous little machine that lets you observe the strange ways you can thrust a heavy bar above your head. It may be hard not to cringe at first, but think of it this way, next time the Flip cam comes out maybe you won’t look as ridiculous on film!

 
4.    When you don’t fit into clothes correctly anymore, don’t freak out. It’s time to face the facts. All of this extra special time getting to know the weight room is going to produce some pretty legit results. That being said, it’s totally normal not to fit into jeans anymore. While this may seem sad and overwhelming at the time, don’t worry about it. Jeans really are overrated. Similarly, your favorite dress you try to zip up when Snowball comes around may no longer be as generous in the back region as it once was. Don’t worry about it! Just attribute this to your ever-fabulous back muscles you didn’t even know existed!
 
5.    Get a good playlist. Last, but certainly not least, make sure that you have a booty popping playlist to help you get through your hour-long lift as painlessly as possible. After all, lifting is far more enjoyable when you and your friends can have a good time bopping to the music and getting yelled at for doing so.
 
Have any other tips we might have missed for surviving the weight room? Let us know by commenting below!