Whether you’re dealing with a toxic friend or a bad boyfriend, these five red flags are enough to give them the boot!
Relationships are hard: you will have to work hard to maintain a quality relationship, platonic or romantic. That being said, when you are faced with the decision to c
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Gaslighting
Gaslighting is arguably one of the best reasons to cut off a toxic friend. If you haven’t heard of this term before, it has become popular more recently, and refers to ‘a form of persistent manipulation … that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and ultimately lose her or his own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth’.
Obviously, mild gaslighting may take a slightly lesser form. If your friend or partner constantly puts you down, calls you malicious names, exaggerates negative traits you possess or otherwise makes you feel that you are the problem, it is probably a sign that the friendship has become toxic and isn’t worth your time.
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Their Way or the Highway
In every relationship, compromises are expected to be made. Nevertheless, if you find that most of these compromises are coming at your expense, there might be more brewing under the surface of your relationship than you think.
If a friend expects that you are to drop any of your own expectations in favour of theirs, it might suggest a power imbalance in the relationship. Consistent behaviour in this manner might be grounds to confront your friend, and eventually, ditch them if they refuse to see that your wants are as valid as their own.
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A Friendship of Convenience
Sometimes, there isn’t a dramatic blowout or clear breach of trust to point to. Instead, these friends or partners may just leave you feeling ‘bleh’. Understandably, college is a time in your life where so many of your relationships are formed in states of flux.
Whether your friend is someone you see every day in class or someone who happens to have the same lunch schedule as you, if they aren’t truly making you feel fulfilled, chances are you shouldn’t invest more than a quick ‘Hi, how’re you?’ It isn’t worth spending hours with someone you don’t click with simply because you happen to have the same schedules, and if you find yourself staring at their face whilst contemplating your algebra homework, you’re likely saving them the time, too.
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Feeling Like You’re The Only One That Cares?
Are you always planning you and your friend’s next outing? Do you initiate most conversations? Are you often left with a period of radio silence if you don’t approach your friend first?
It’s a difficult pill to swallow, but perhaps your friend or partner doesn’t care about you quite as much as you care about them. If you constantly feel that, without you moving the friendship forward, there would be no friendship, it might be worth investing that energy for someone who can reciprocate the way that you deserve!
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It Just Isn’t Quite Right
If you have read all of the above, and still don’t know why your friendship isn’t working out but can’t shake the feeling that things aren’t quite right, it is usually best to go with your gut.
Friends are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and should be effortless to spend time with. If spending time with a friend feels like stepping on eggshells, despite the fact that they are a perfectly nice person, it might just be the wrong person for you. Approaching friendship like dating, and really savoring friendships could help you find people that you genuinely enjoy being in the company of!