Deciding when you’re ready to have sex with someone is really a different for everybody. Communication is so important. If a couple feels comfortable having sex after a few weeks or a few days, or if they want to wait a while, it’s fine as long as both people are on the same page. At the end of the day there’s no “right” time to have sex. I interviewed two friends of mine, one male and the other female to see what both perspectives thought on the topic.
How do you know you’re ready?
Male: I don’t know how to really answer that, you just know.
Female: You know when you’re ready when you feel completely comfortable with giving yourself to that person. If you have any doubt in your mind then you should know that now may not be the time to have sex.
Have you slept with people too quickly?
Male: Yeah I have and it didn’t really end well.
Female: Personally, I have not had that many sexual partners and haven’t really had sex unless I had an established relationship or understanding with a person. To be completely honest, I have had sex with someone “too quickly”, but at the end of the day it was no regrets because it was a mutual understanding.
How important is sex to you in a relationship?
Male: It’s not a deal breaker especially if I really like you but it is very high on the list.
Female: Sex in a relationship is as important as you make it. To me personally sex is not so much of an importance rather than a beneficiary. I have had relationships where sex was not even a factor until years later, and the relationship was great. Sex to me is just a bonus intimate moment rather than a make or break component in regards to a relationship.
Would you be comfortable waiting until your partner was ready to have sex?
Male: Yeah only if I really like her though but the most time I’m willing to wait is two months before I’m calling it quits.
Female: I would feel completely comfortable with waiting until my partner was ready. At the end of the day sex is something that is supposed to be enjoyable for all parties involved, so you don’t want to ruin the moment and intimacy of sex just because you were impatient. Sex is more enjoyable when both parties want it.
How do you feel about sex on the first night?
Male: My thoughts of her would definitely change, I would look at her as being easy. Because if she’s so willing to have sex with me on the first date she’s probably like that with everyone.
Female: Sex on the first night depends on the person. Part of having sex is acknowledging the vibe that is occurring. If the vibe and mood is right and you all both want it then why not? Just be safe and protect yourself. Also be cautious of all the other factors that will come into play while having sex on the first night, as it will have an effect on the relationship. Having sex on the first night can greatly change the dynamics of a relationship.
If you asked me my opinion? I think some men are sexual hypocrites, they pressure women to have sex and then they look down on them for having sex. They are really stuck on the idea that if a woman jumps into bed with them quickly then she must do this with lots of other men as well. Her value in their eyes begins to quickly drop. As a woman it is your job before having any kind of sexual relations to figure out if he’s interested in YOU or in the SEX. If you don’t know the answer, then you should hold out on the sex until you do. No committed relationship = No sex. Long story short: Do whatever the hell you want!