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Sex + Relationships

What’s Your Love Language?

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, ladies. Maybe you are stuck on what to get your boo for the upcoming holiday. Well before even thinking about what gifts you’ll buy, can you answer me one question? What is your love language? Don’t know. Well, what is your partner’s love language? Still, have no clue? That’s okay! Love languages help us describe how we feel loved and appreciated in relationships. One big issue that affects relationships today is communicating effectively to our loved ones, our love for them. Everyone has their way of expressing their love for others. That is why it is necessary to make sure that you and your boo are on the same page. This goes to show why knowing and understanding the five different love languages is so fundamental. My primary love languages are acts of service and quality of time. Take a look below to learn what you or your boo’s love language is and how to express it daily. Soon you will be able to say that you are fluent in the language of love.


Acts of Service: Cooking dinner, helping run errands, taking out the trash are all acts of service. Can these all be an expression of love? Absolutely! These are all examples of how you can express your love to your significant other. Remember the saying actions speak louder than words? Well, this relates to love and relationships. If this is your love language, this means that you value your partner, taking the time out of their day to do something that makes you happy. When someone takes the time to perform an act of service, you tend to feel valued and seen.


Quality Time: I place quality time as my primary love language. Remember that feeling when you first get into a relationship? All you want to do is spend your time with them and getting to know each other. Well, that feeling can tend to dissolve after some time has passed. We live in a time where there are so many distractions between school, work, social media, and e.t.c. Nothing says that you love someone like giving them your full undivided attention. So a person that loves quality time will appreciate it when they can spend quality time alone, just the two of them. Maybe take the time to schedule date nights and promise each other not to look at your phones. Trust me, it is possible. Or it can be as simple as playing video games. Not my favorite activity, but it’s all about compromise. The truth is that the activity does not matter. What matters is that you’ll be doing it together. 


Receiving Gifts: No gift can be too big or too small. I mean, let’s be honest who does not like gifts? Don’t think that you have to buy a huge and expensive gift to express your love. This is the wrong mindset to have. A lot of people will mistake this act as materialism. There’s no wrong in buying your loved one’s gifts or receiving gifts from your partner. It can be as simple as a homemade card or chocolates. If this is your loved one’s primary love language, then they will appreciate the little things. People will value the thoughtfulness and effort that is put in behind the gift. If this is your love language, you see gifts as a symbol of love. 


Words of Affirmation: Hearing words of affirmation is vital in any relationship. Those who place more significance on hearing words of affirmation LOVES hearing compliments. They love feeling they are being recognized and praised for doing a good job. Leaving love notes, expressing your admiration, being encouraging are all ways to show your love by using words of affirmation. One creative way to express words of affirmation if your stuck trying to find the right words to say is creating a playlist full of songs that remind you of your loved one. 


Physical Touch: When people hear physical touch, they automatically think that means PDA. Physical contact has more to it than showing public displays of affection. Holding hands, putting your hand around them, or even sitting close together while watching a movie are all ways to perform physical touch. Not everyone is a touchy-feely type of person, and that is okay. The good news is that you can learn how to speak this love language with your loved one.


The key to understanding love languages is that it’s all about giving and taking. You have to be willing to compromise. You may love receiving gifts, and your significant other may value words of affirmation more. And guess what? That’s completely fine! Both people in a relationship need to understand their partner’s love language so you can be able to communicate effectively. If you’re still not sure what your love language is, don’t worry. There are tons of quizzes available online for you to take so you can figure out how you like to be loved. Happy Valentine’s Day!


Selena Roberts

Hampton U '21

Selena Roberts is a senior Strategic Communications major with an area of emphasis in Political Science minor from Spring Valley, NY. She is a part of the Freddye T. Davy Honors College, Student Government Association. Her Campus, Young Adults Advocating Change, and the Student Recruitment Team. Selena loves the performing arts and is a fan of romantic comedies. She loves to rewatch episodes of Insecure and listen to Jazmine Sullivan, SZA, and Brandy. She hopes to combine her love of media, traveling, and politics together after graduating from Hampton University.
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