Being rejected can hurt terribly. Rejection can come from relationships, school or work. When it happens it leaves us with that twinge or pang right in the heart. When rejection happens we think of what we did wrong or what is wrong with us? This is where self-criticism occurs and self-love depletes. We question our capacity to be loved and accepted or our worthiness. Though there are negative aspects of rejection there is a positive. The pain that we feel from rejection can redirect or teach us and because of that allows us to make better choices and live better and happier lives.
Rejection is always seen as a bad thing but personally, I look at it differently.
For example, this is personal but I failed a nursing course Fall semester and won’t be able to take it until next fall meaning that I will graduate a year later. I only failed by a tenth of a point. I was devastated, I thought I wasn’t smart or capable, I was angry, I was ashamed and felt like a disappointment. From crying in my room, lashing out at others and dropping other responsibilities I had and this process turned into one day that I decided it is what is and I can only move forward and that is radical acceptance. Acceptance for the things we can’t change. One of my professors told me “everything happens for a reason and every reason is a positive one” and I really hold on to that because if I was still living in the feelings of rejection I wouldn’t have the opportunities and experiences that I have had this spring semester like a job, internship opportunities and things that I have always wanted to do like get a tattoo or a piercing that wasn’t appropriate for nursing school. Rejection is an opportunity to reassess, rediscover and grow. This concept of rejection redirecting you did not happen easily or quickly, sometimes it can take months or even years. I journaled my feelings which validated my emotions, I listened to affirmations which made me regain hope, I started to meditate and exercise, I developed a plan to pass the class I failed, I did the things that I wasn’t able to do during nursing school courses. In the end, I have become positive, hopeful and thankful for this pause/delay because I didn’t know I needed it at the time. During these times when you feel rejected remember:
- Treat yourself with extreme compassion
- Let yourself feel the feelings
- Don’t let rejection/failure define you
- Try to find the lesson in the rejection
- Make a plan/find useful ways to cope—-Self-care is so important
- Learn about yourself in the process and grow
At the end of the day, we are all capable, worthy and have a magnitude of greatness within us. There will be countless delays, pauses, failures, and challenges that will be apart of your lives, it is all a part of the plan destined for you. For every failed job interview can lead to the best job opportunity, for every heartbreak can lead you closer to the greatest love and for every failure can bring you to more success.