“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens”
-Louise Hay
Body Positivity. I’m sure you’ve heard this small little statement all over the place but have you really stopped to actually break down this statement. Are you the type to say it to other people, but not take it in for yourself? It isn’t just about loving yourself or others despite their physical appearance; it encourages self-positivity, self-esteem, and better mental and physical health. Research shows that up to 84% of American women, experience body dissatisfaction in their lives; and the media has made it that women should be desired or even envied only for their looks and that we are truly just objects in a “man’s” world. Even according to the National Organization of Women (NOW) “The beauty template women are expected to follow is extremely narrow, unrealistic, and frequently hazardous to their health.”
Like many women, I never grew up with love for my body. I was overweight as a child, and not involved in a lot of sports, so I found myself comparing my body type to those I’d see on television, the flat stomach, thigh gap, and small chest combo. I got to high school, and it just got worse, the hatred I felt for my body took over my life; I’d wear loose shirts and loose pants to cover my stomach. I’d never wear shorts because I absolutely hated the way my legs look. But I learned to love my body, I learned that it’s the only one I got so I should love it instead of hate it. But trust me that takes time and conscious effort. Going from “I hate my body” to “I love my body,” isn’t as simple as the body positivity movement makes it seem. So to help with that here are some tips that’ll steer you in the right direction.
- Change your mindset: Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the things your body can do. You can jump. You can run. Stop intentionally putting yourself down, because it’ll only put you deeper into hating your body. If you really want to love yourself you need to commit to it. Acknowledge that your relationship with your body is negative, and tell yourself you need to change it.
- Throw out that scale: This should be the first thing on the list. To be frank, you are more than just a number! Nothing good ever comes from stepping on that weight, because it just further pushes the narrative that you are supposed to be this amount of weight; realistically there is no set number for weight and healthiness, so why should you care about how much you weigh.
- Surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and your body: This should be self-explanatory. “Do not expect positive change in your life if you surround yourself with negative people” -Anonymous. This isn’t like math, two negatives in fact do not make a positive, so steer away from negative people who will push you in the wrong direction.
- Stop comparing!!: You have to stop comparing or judging other people based on their bodies. Not only are you further pushing the narrative that bodies are a valid measure of a person’s value.
- Exercise to feel good not to lose weight: Work out for the effects of being physically active. Exercise improves brain health, reduces the risk of disease, lowers blood pressure, and improves heart health. If you look at it as a way to lose weight it becomes a toxic source of thinking it’s how to change the body that is already perfect.
- Seek help: It’s hard I totally understand. Loving yourself not because someone told you, but actually is hard. So don’t be afraid to find a therapist, life coach, or anyone who can help guide you on the journey.
“There’s always going to be someone smarter than you, prettier than you, skinnier than you, funnier than you, sadder than you. But nobody’s ever going to be YOU. You are beautiful just the way you are.”
Angie Karan