And, another thing, who made the Mac and Cheese?
Thanksgiving is a… unique time of year. It’s a time to give thanks to all of the things that have made this year possible. Friends, family, professors, mentors, and all those in between get praise for making this past year something to be thankful for. In practice, we do give thanks, however, Thanksgiving can also represent many other things. Seeing old family members, exchanging awkward greetings to people you don’t recognize that claim to have known you since birth, and hoping that whoever cooked was competent. Most of all, Thanksgiving is the one time of year where you cannot mess up the food.
Black Thanksgiving was originally a church-based celebration that celebrated hope and triumph in the Black community, even before the Emancipation Proclamation. This was then followed by a large feast with many Black soul food classics such as ham, mac and cheese, collard greens, and sweet potato pie. This celebration has evolved into a modern-day Thanksgiving, which is basically the Black cookout extraordinaire.
Thanksgiving food, especially a Black Thanksgiving, is sacred. From the ham and turkey to the dressing and greens, to the mac and cheese, the food is always top tier. A feast this advanced and special cannot be made by just anyone; it must be cooked by someone with the most knowledge, skill, and patience. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
who made the…?
The pressure’s on to have the perfect Thanksgiving table, but how do I know if it’s perfect? Well, beyond the culinary measures of edible and inedible, a perfect table is determined by what your family does or doesn’t say. For example, if your auntie says: “Who made the collards? Oh…figures. And, another thing, who made the Mac and Cheese?” that means you’re doomed. Your ‘perfect’ table is going to end up in the trash under politely folded paper plates. If the table is silent for an extended amount of time, not from disgust but from their heads being in their plates, you know you’ve won. If the uncles are re-inviting themselves over to your house next year, your Thanksgiving has been a success.
Familial Pressures
Thanksgiving is a pressure cooker full of grand food ideas, hanger, and familial expectations. Everyone (especially the deprived college kid) has waited all year for a traditional Thanksgiving feast, and if their idea of ‘perfect’ isn’t met, they’ll never let you bring a salad, let alone cook the turkey. Your mother is chiming in about the best brining method, your grandma can’t find her signature sweet potato pie recipe, and your father is asking when everything will be ready. These pressures easily compound and can turn into a Thanksgiving disaster.
Before you succumb to the kind of behavior that would get you on Worldstar, please take a deep breath. Your Thanksgiving feast does not have to be perfect. Read it again. Your Thanksgiving feast does not have to be perfect. Now, my writing this is not an excuse to put a subpar turkey on the table and call it a day. It is, however, a plea to break away from the idea of perfectionism. Perfectionism will get you nowhere in the kitchen. Striving to meet everyone’s ideas of perfect is paralyzing and won’t make your food taste any better. If anything, your food will probably taste worse since it was created with anxiety, stress, and apprehension. There is no perfect Thanksgiving table, there’s only the best you are capable of doing.
If kicking everyone out of the kitchen (or the house) is the way to make sure that the feast is excellent, utilize your voice and do so! Don’t let your family trample all over you.
Remember: you were tasked with making the feast. Not Aunt Martha, not Uncle Bill, you. Own it… and please do it justice.