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Okay ladies, Valentine’s Day is looming around the corner. For some, it is a day that most people look forward to with much anticipation. You may have picked out the perfect outfit. Maybe you made reservations at your favorite restaurant, or after searching for hours, you got the perfect gift for your significant other. If you’re like me, it is just another day, and you try to avoid any reminders that the day even exists. Seriously. No chocolates. No flowers. No rom coms (Love Jones is the only exception). Nothing. It’s just another reminder of my current relationship status (Yes, single and proud). There’s no shame. But I wonder when we all started placing pressure on ourselves to secure plans on this one day out of the year.

There is so much hype over this day that we may end up depressing ourselves. In today’s society, we equate our worth to how people see us. And I am tired of it. In this age of social media, it is hard not to compare yourself to your peer’s highlight reels. You may even ask yourself when it will be your turn to find that special someone, or you are still trying to figure out Ciara’s prayer that got her Russell Wilson. Trust me, sis, we have all been there and done that many nights.

Well, this year, I am doing things differently. Instead of dreading the day, I am choosing to date myself. Being in quarantine for what seems like forever has forced me to reflect on my thoughts, and I have had a revelation. This is the time where I focus on myself. There is no time like the present to start this journey of finding out what you love about yourself. I started asking myself questions that I may ask a potential partner. What do I genuinely enjoy? What are my passions? What are my likes and my dislikes? What brings me joy? I have to admit; initially, these were questions I had trouble answering. And how could that be? It is so easy to get caught up in everything that is happening around us.

With this pandemic, school, working from home, and graduation happening soon, there have been so many things I need to put my attention on. I have been so focused on everything else going on, I put myself on the backburner. Thus, I ended up losing focus on what brings me joy. And of course, having a special someone in your life would not hurt. But that does not define my happiness. So for right now, I am committed to doing the work necessary to becoming my best self.

Please do not think you have to wait around to be asked out on a date for anyone reading these. Not for Valentine’s Day or any day for that matter. Go ahead and take the initiative to do things you want to do. You may end up discovering something new about yourself. Immerse yourself in nature. Go out to your favorite coffee shop. Buy yourself that new outfit. Pamper yourself. Or pick up a new book. Don’t let this Valentine’s Day make you feel bad about yourself if you don’t have any plans. It is all about perspective. You are beautiful and worthy of all great things. 

Selena Roberts

Hampton U '21

Selena Roberts is a senior Strategic Communications major with an area of emphasis in Political Science minor from Spring Valley, NY. She is a part of the Freddye T. Davy Honors College, Student Government Association. Her Campus, Young Adults Advocating Change, and the Student Recruitment Team. Selena loves the performing arts and is a fan of romantic comedies. She loves to rewatch episodes of Insecure and listen to Jazmine Sullivan, SZA, and Brandy. She hopes to combine her love of media, traveling, and politics together after graduating from Hampton University.
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