She’s Gotta Have It

Nola Darling is a sex-positive, polyamorous pansexual. Nola Darling is not a freak, sex addict, nor property.  The character of Nola Darling comes from Spike Lee’s new Netflix series, She’s Gotta Have It, an episodic remake of his first feature film of the same title released in 1986. Nola’s views on monogamy and sexuality have fueled much conversation with arguments from both sides: Pro-Nola and Anti-Nola.

So, what exactly does it mean to be a sex-positive, polygamous pansexual?

Sex-Positive: according to Urban Dictionary, it is an approach to sex and sexuality that embraces the full benefits of sexual interaction as healthy and uplifting

Polygamous: meaning to have multiple relationships with different partners at the same time.

Pansexual: a sexual orientation where that individual is open to everyone with no bearing on orientation or gender identity.

Nola is sexually liberated and it’s evident in her different relationships. She views herself as a grown woman who enjoys sex. She doesn’t believe it’s fair for men to have sexual freedom without being negatively labeled but women can’t.

Nola has four different relationships in the series: three men and a woman. Each relationship plays on a different part of Nola’s personality and each relationship offers her different things.

Mars Blackmon – Mars makes Nola smile and laugh nonstop. He has a euphoric aura that rubs off on Nola whenever they’re together.

Greer Childs – Greer brings the exotic fun element into Nola’s life. Greer and Nola have a sexual relationship that they later try to expand on.

Jamie Overstreet – Jamie brings stability to Nola’s life. He is older and very protective of her. Jamie’s downfalls are that he can be possessive and that he is still married.  

Opal Gilstrap – Opal allows Nola to be herself without being possessive over her. Opal opens Nola up to the possibility of being monogamous and having a family.

Nola keeps her lovers in a rotation and entertains them whenever it is convenient for her. Her main three male lovers are all well aware that they are not Nola’s only guy, but they don’t have a problem with that. They will still do whatever it takes to please Nola and will go to extraordinary lengths to do so.

When the original film released in 1986, being polyamorous as a woman was not favorable and was looked down on; now in 2017 it’s a growing trend. Open relationships are starting to become more mainstream and are even depicted in other popular shows, such as Issa Rae’s Insecure. Relating to Nola Darling's relationships there has been a lot of acceptance and critique. A lot of women took to social media their admiration for Nola and how open and honest she is. On the other hand, a lot of people hated Nola saying that she was playing with all the people she had relationships with and used her fear of commitment to do so.  

 Do you have a little bit of Nola Darling in you?