A lot of times we as college students enter into f*ck buddy situations or one-night stands, thinking there will be no strings attached. Sounds good, but that isn’t necessarily the case. Whenever you have sex with someone, a bond is formed between the two of you. This can take on many names but is most commonly known as soul ties.
So what exactly are soul ties? They can be defined differently but essentially have the same meaning. A good explanation from a site called Moral Revolution says that “sex is a tridimensional experience: spirit, body and soul. Anytime you have sex with a person you bond with them.” We mostly see soul ties as unhealthy because, especially in college where one-night stands are prevalent, you may not want to have a soul tie with the guy or girl you never planned to have sex with again.
Sex is a transfer of energy, not only physcially but also mentally and emotionally. The biggest issue arises when you have sex with someone harnessing negative energy and afterwords you feel down or in a slump, because that negative energy has now been transferred to you.
Or when you stopped talking to them weeks ago but still obsessively think about them. Have you ever found yourself having sex with someone and know you don’t really like them, but somehow can’t stay away? Soul ties.
I don’t believe that casual sex without attachment is real. Coming from a person who has tried friends with benefits, and thought I was really good at it, it’s hard to keep a degree of separation because soul ties are always present. Let’s break it down in the three forms:
Body. You should know by now that sex is also a chemical reaction. Having sex releases a hormone called oxytocin, which is also nicknamed “the cuddle hormone” or “the love hormone.” Research has shown that the release of oxytocin from your body gives you feelings of attraction and positive evaluation of your partner. The initial release triggers feelings of trust and thought, essentially why it is easier for females to become attached after sex. Hugging and having an orgasm can release more oxytocin. Females generally release more oxytocin than males, thus why they get attached easier.
Spirit. As I said before, sex is a transfer of energy. For both males and females, having sex connects your spirit. Your partner’s energy can rub off on you and affect you mentally. It’s important to protect your spirit because that can ultimately change your whole mood and outlook.
Soul. The soul might be one of the deepest connections that happens during sex, hint soul ties. With the mixture of hormonal and spiritual energy being shared, your soul begins to form a connection with your partner. Afterwards, you may experience longing or an unexplainable desire to be around the person.
All soul ties do not have to be unhealthy. If you are trying to foster an emotional connection with a person, soul ties can actually strengthen your relationship.
A few signs that you may have soul ties with someone can include:
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You constantly think about them or wonder about them, even if you’ve only had sex once
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You feel your mood shift as theirs does
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You find yourself displaying some of their same characteristics, whether negative or positive
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You feel attached to them and can’t cut them off
Having experienced both healthy and unhealthy soul ties, it’s important to be aware of how that connection may form before you enter into a sexual encounter with someone you want nothing to do with. Think before you act and protect your energy.