Correct me if I’m wrong, but lately, it seems like there’s been one specific thing that’s been on everybody’s minds. Relationships. It’s like everywhere you turn a new relationship is on the horizon. This week in particular with the rise of the “how it started how it’s going” trend, it’s quite obvious that love is very much so in the air, which is just another reason why I’ve made sure to keep my mask up. Don’t get me wrong I love love; It’s the reason for some of my favorites songs, movies, and books. So no, this is not the chronicling of relationships gone wrong or the ramblings of a broken-hearted girl, quite the opposite. I’ve just noticed that for some reason the thought of being single gets a really bad rep. But one thing that has become glaringly clear was that just as much as there are some beautiful things to be said about being in love there are equally as many beautiful things to be said about being single.
If there’s anything that the current circumstances have taught me, it’s the importance of being comfortable by myself. And as of lately, relationships have been the furthest thing from my mind, as I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my single life. Without the responsibility of having to tailor my day to suit the needs of another person, I found so much more time to tailor everything I did to suit my own needs. If I wanted to watch Netflix all day I could. If I wanted to have my “self-care Sunday” every day of the week I could, and I did and it was great.
So often people mistake being single for being alone or being lonely. I know, I’ve been on the receiving end of the confusing looks when I tell my friends and family that I prefer to be single for the time being. Or the worrisome remarks like “Well you do want to get married?” or “Oh, you’re just saying that,” or the dreaded “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone,” all of which are followed by an aggressive eye roll. It’s crazy the amount of people that search for a deeper meaning to singleness as if saying “I just don’t want to be in a relationship” isn’t reason enough. Loneliness is the issue neither is a lack of prospective s/o’s. I just enjoy my life as a single woman.
Contrary to popular belief that when you’re single you’re either looking for a new beau or stuffing your face with ice cream crying over romantic movies, I can say that I rarely ever feel a sense of loneliness in my singlehood. Along with having the time to cultivate a better relationship with yourself, you spend more time cultivating other relationships in your life, deepening the platonic bonds that are just as important as the romantic ones. I never am alone because my relationships with my friends are just as monumental as any relationship I could have with an s/o. *queue “Girlfriends* theme song*
Also, one of the greatest things about being single is you get to be selfish with your time. With this freedom, you also gain the clarity to see what parts of yourself you can work on. With all of the downtime that fell into my lap at the hands of quarantine, the task of self-development became a priority. I was able to be extremely present in my solitude, asking myself some tough questions and getting a better understanding of all of my complexities. And once you get a better understanding of these things you notice how much it affects your life and even your relationships. Also, you can spend time in your single life trying different things and discovering different things you might like. Learn a language, start a business, or, for myself, finally start learning how to cook. And the one great thing that no one tells you about being single is that when you finally have a grasp on all the things that make you so great you can be that much more choosy with who you give your time to in your next relationship if you choose to get find one.
But for me, I can honestly say that a single life is where I’m planting my feet for the time being. While relationships can be fun and are filled with an array of lessons to be learned, I found that it was in the times that I was single that I learned the most about myself and subsequently learned some of the most important lessons of my life. And still, all of this isn’t to say that I’ll never be open to a new relationship but, as the living legend, Beyonce once said, “Me, Myself, and I is all I got,” and right now me myself and I is all I really want.