Written By: Briana Riggins
What is love?
When we think about love, we often think about that soft, gushy feeling that settles deep within us when we encounter someone who truly holds our heart. It’s in the rapid yet constant thoughts of them, the quiet nervousness that fills our chest when our eyes meet, and the way we find ourselves smiling or laughing at even the smallest things they do—things no one else would notice or understand the same way.
To be in love is to choose someone, again and again. It is commitment through every bridge crossed and every wall faced. It is loving them not only at their best, but also when they show the parts of themselves that are messy, imperfect, or hard to love. Love does not disappear in those moments—it grows stronger.
People often ask, “How do you know when you’re in love?” and the answer they’re given is usually, “When it happens, you’ll know.” The first time I heard that, I didn’t understand it. It felt vague, almost dismissive—until I experienced it myself. And in that moment of realization, everything became clear. They were right. I knew.
Because love is not just a word or a concept—it is a feeling. A powerful, consuming feeling that pushes you to give your best, to show up fully, and to fight for someone’s happiness even when times are heavy. To love, or to be loved, is not something to pass through lightly. It is a privilege—one that should be cherished, protected, and never taken for granted. Love is something I hold sacred, and so should you.
On instagram
On Instagram, we are constantly surrounded by different portrayals of love. There are the soft launches—subtle posts that hint at a romantic partner without ever revealing who they are. A hand here, a silhouette there, just enough to say someone exists without saying their name.
Then there are the hard launchers—the couples who proudly and openly share their love. Their partner appears often on their feed, sometimes even with a dedicated highlight. These couples find joy in letting the world witness the affection, laughter, and connection they share.
Lastly, there are the relationships I like to call private but not a secret. Everyone knows who these couples are with, but very few know what truly goes on behind closed doors. Their love isn’t hidden—it’s simply protected.
All of these expressions of love are equally valid. Just because someone doesn’t post their partner the way a hard launcher might does not make their love any less real or meaningful. Love cannot be measured by likes, reposts, or public validation. What matters most is how you and your partner meet each other’s needs, both emotionally and intentionally.
Speaking from personal experience, during a long-term relationship, social media had more influence over my feelings than it should have. As someone who spends a lot of time online, I found myself comparing my relationship to what I saw on my screen—and that was unhealthy. What I eventually had to learn is that just because couples online appear endlessly happy or seem to be doing all the “right” things, it does not mean their relationship is perfect. I often return to the quote, “Comparison is the thief of all joy,” because it holds so much truth.
I once believed love looked like the movies or sounded like the songs I listened to. And while love can be beautiful and cinematic, it isn’t always flawless or effortless. So, what is love?
Love is patient.
Love is gentle.
Love is enduring—it never truly disappears, it simply lingers.
Love shapes you into a person you may not have even realized you wanted to become, without ever asking you to lose yourself in the process. Love fills your heart with peace and genuine happiness. Love stands stronger than disagreements, misunderstandings, or disappointment. Love is not toxic. Love is not performative. Love is joy.
And above all, love is real—whether the world sees it or not.
Reality
I genuinely believe that in this generation, many of us are afraid to truly love and to fully fall into another person. That fear doesn’t come from nowhere. It is shaped by our upbringings, past heartbreaks, trauma, and the patterns we have watched play out both in our own lives and online. We carry these experiences with us, often allowing them to harden our hearts in the name of protection.
What I had to learn for myself is that everyone is not the same. Every interaction is different. Every connection carries its own lessons, its own meaning, and its own form of love. Even if we are all waiting for what we believe to be our “perfect person,” the people we meet along the way are not mistakes. They are moments. They are mirrors. They are lessons meant to shape us, not shame us.
Situationships and heartbreaks have become common experiences in this generation, almost normalized to the point where emotional uncertainty feels expected. That is a hard truth to sit with. But just because we endure these experiences does not mean they should steal our ability to be happy or hopeful in future relationships. Pain should inform us, not imprison us.
One of the biggest challenges with love today is the way it is portrayed online. What we see on Instagram is often a highlight reel, not the full story. Love is filtered, cropped, and carefully curated to appear effortless and perfect. Even Drake’s song Emotionless touches on this idea, showing how people can present one version of themselves to the world while hiding another beneath the surface. That same duality exists in modern relationships. What looks beautiful online may be strained, lonely, or fragile behind closed doors.
The reality is that love is not meant to be picture-perfect. It is not a constant romance movie or a fairytale scene frozen in time. Love is real. It is deep and layered. It is authentic and sometimes uncomfortable. Love can heal old wounds, but it can also reopen them, forcing us to confront parts of ourselves we may have avoided.
Real love requires patience, vulnerability, and honesty. It grows in private moments, not just public ones. It lives in conversations, compromise, and quiet effort, not just in captions and couple photos. And when we begin to understand that, we free ourselves from the pressure to perform love and allow ourselves to actually experience it.
Love was never meant to be perfect. It was meant to be real.
Happy valentines day
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day approaching, whether you are celebrating with a partner, grieving someone you once loved, or spending the day surrounded by your girls, continue to lead with love in everything you do. Love does not disappear just because it changes form. It simply finds new ways to exist.
Whether your heart has been broken or bruised, continue to carry the gift of love. Never feel ashamed of how deeply you loved or who you chose to love. Loving fully is never a weakness. It is proof of courage.
Valentine’s Day is not only for romance. It is also for the love that surrounds you every day. The friendships that hold you together, the family that grounds you, and the quiet moments that remind you that you are not alone.
Most importantly, remember to love yourself above any person or circumstance. You are not waiting to become love. You are the definition of it. Whether you love quietly, loudly, or with a bit of fear, you are worthy and capable of giving and receiving love. Sometimes, the love we crave from others is first meant to be given to ourselves.
Happy Valentine’s Day! <3