Before you read this article and judge, the cat is out of the bag. No, I am not a virgin and you may not be one either. If you are, wonderful! If not, hey join the club of over 3 billion people! It’s just sex and as long as you’re safe and well aware of what you’re doing, you can do what you want! Okay, now that the disclaimer is out there and hopefully the immature and ignorant audience has left, I am writing this post for the open minded grown folks. It is now time to have the sex talk and discuss what nobody ever tells you about your first time. Here we go, ladies! Losing your virginity – expectations versus reality…
Finding Your Prince Charming
I truly respect and admire those who are waiting for marriage and saving themselves for their forever men. I’m pretty sure finding that perfect guy is over half of the population’s main goal. Growing up, I had that same mindset but I also have a very realistic mindset. I understood humanity – which is not to say just let loose and screw whoever but the stress over losing my virginity to my prince charming and being with them forever was not on my mind. I just knew that when my day came, it would be with someone I trusted and felt comfortable with. This mindset that the person you lose your virginity to must stick around forever is also a major reason for a lot of heart break after having intercourse. Ladies, just know that losing it will form a connection with that person so be mindful not to spread those legs apart for just anyone – especially if you are very attached. Life happens and people change just like the seasons so be smart.
The “Right” Age
I want to start by saying there is no such thing as the “right” age. If you are not married, people will think every single age is inappropriate. By no means do I support children having intercourse. But whether you lose your virginity at 10 or 67, there is no “right” age because according to the bible, they both are sins without the marriage agreement. Often times, we put a specific age or time that we will lose our virginity when in reality, it might be that random Thursday or that hot sunny day right after your 20th birthday. For some, it maybe more planned out such as prom night or after their sweet 16 party. While it does not matter the age, I think the timing should be natural and you will know when you know.
You Will Feel/Act Different
Now I can say that some people just go buck wild crazy after receiving some of that “get right.” I’m not sure if I may have not gotten completely right but I do know that I have not acted or felt any different. I personally like to keep my personal life private and not kiss and tell (which is why hearing that I am not a virgin maybe a shock to most… anywho lol). I honestly think that this phrase depends on the type of person you are. After having sex, you may want it more every single day, or if losing it was that bad, you might move on to other forms of sexual pleasure. You never know but honestly, don’t get scared and think, “OMG I´m going to act different and my mom will find out I had sex!” because that is not always the case.
It Will Hurt
Sorry not sorry but it is going to hurt… like hurt hurt, like hurt to the point where you cannot explain to a virgin what it feels like. If you relax, it will not feel as bad but girl it is going to hurt. Also, if your partner tries to make you feel bad or does not care to cater to your pain leave him/her. If you say stop or be gentle that is exactly what that means. You want to share your body with someone who will take care of you and cares about you and if it hurts or does not feel good and you need them to adjust for you, speak up and say it. Do not allow them to pressure you into hurting your body. Also, if it your partner’s first time doing it do not allow a little boy to act as though he knows what he is doing because 12/10 he is probably putting it in the wrong hole and BOOM – UTI!!!
The Most Romantic Night Ever
The last point I will be discussing is how many believe that the day you lose your virginity is going to be this amazing and romantic night. I can tell you that this is false. Even if you plan out this candlelight and rose petal bed it will still be uncomfortable, awkward, and messy. The funniest part is when your partner is not a virgin and they are enjoying it but you are there laying like what the heck. Honestly, the third time’s a charm. So do not even stress, and sometimes it might just be the person but that is for another article on another day.
Honestly whether you are waiting for marriage, celibate till you die, or on your hot girl stuff just be safe, be careful, and be smart. Losing your virginity may not be like what you envision in your head but that is okay, sis join the club! Do not expect too much and do not try to impress your partner with tricks the first time. You progress over time and learn your likes and dislikes. Hope you all enjoyed my article! Time to go back to my discreet private life!