“Be a man!”
What does that mean?
For black men, that usually meant don’t cry, don’t talk about your feelings, and keep it pushing through the pain. For so long, black men have been tied to this toxic stigma that the only emotion they can experience is anger. When they react to negative situations, they should react by lashing out. Black men are ignorantly characterized as violent and stiff and lacking in emotional intelligence. Since the repressive times of slavery, black men have been forced into a role that requires them to have all those attributes. They were never meant to cry because they were the “man of the house,” and they had to be strong while the rest of their family was weak.
White racism has, from since then, forced black men into a tight box, and a significant amount of the black community helps to perpetuate this repressive role for black men. Being able to express your pain properly is what makes you human, and hypermasculinity and insensitive racial stereotypes are taking that humanity away from black men. Unfortunately, that dangerous mentality has made itself a home even in the 21st century. Today, black men experience dangerous racial injustice, stereotyping, ridicule, but are expected to simply accept that and keep it pushing. A black man who is openly loving to his friends, checks on them when they are down, and cries, when he’s sad, is considered “soft.” It is more common for white males to be close in a way that some black men might consider to be “gay.” Not being able to express all your emotions freely can take a toll on your mental health. To make this circumstance even more alarming, too many black people adhere to the negative stigma about seeking help for mental health.
For a black man, it is considered weak to seek help and be open about what emotions they are experiencing. What could be serious mental health issues are often simply deemed as just being “crazy” and black men keep all of that emotion bottled up and suffer in silence? It’s 2018. It should not be considered soft for a black man to open up to anyone who he trusts. It should not be considered “gay” for a black man to cry with his friends. Let black men express themselves. Let black men laugh and love and cry. Let black men be human.