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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

The Importance of Having a Platonic Friendship Before Shooting your Shot

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Hampton U chapter.


Ladies, haven’t you watched those romantic movies like Love & Basketball, Brown Sugar, 13 going on 30, and other romantic chick flick movies. In all of those films, there is always two friends, boy, and girl, who have a genuine friendship with one another and end up being in a healthy relationship. The healthy and happy relationship that is shown on screen trails back to the FRIENDSHIP that was built before the relationship. Nowadays, people think just being friends, in the beginning, is a bad thing, and put negative labels on it like being “friend-zoned.” Today’s society rushes things because of a fantasy they’ve made up where they were physically attracted to that person, but we tend to forget that the mind and soul are just as important to get to know than just the body.


In college, it’s time for exploration and adventure. Delving into the talking/relationship stage so quick prohibits that especially when we throw those titles on what a person means to you without really knowing them. The friendship can show you if either of you two like each other on a personal level, versus just drooling over one another. Therefore, having a platonic friendship foundation can set the tone before the relationship has even begun. Foundations like respect, honesty, trust, comfort, and loyalty can all be discovered in a friendship. These components that can be found in a friendship are usually lacking in a rushed relationship, causing one of the two to lose themselves or end the relationship at odds with one another.


Respect is the avocado to the guacamole, it is the main ingredient that keeps everything else together. As friends, building a friendship and getting to know one another will allow you to respect each other as individuals. Understanding every flaw or detail whether working through it or accepting it as something unique is what builds trust. Now, trust is easy to build as friends because the emotions of desire and intimacy are not there. You’re genuinely allowing yourself to be a safe space for your male friend or female friend while knocking down those walls of uncertainty.


Now that you have his or her respect and trust in your friendship, it makes communication easier and open when having a conversation. A lot of couples have issues with communication because they lack trust in one another, therefore, all honesty that they thought was there is gone along with trust and respect. In a friendship, there would be honesty, which gives room for candidness and comfort to say any and everything. This comfort to be honest only gets stronger when a potential relationship between friends arise so that when things occur in your relationship due to life or mistakes, it makes it easier to talk. Another component of friendship that can benefit a relationship is support, friends always support each other and act selflessly when it comes to being a loyal friend. Knowing he or she is your ride or die as friends, makes it better for when in a relationship your partner has your back no matter what.


Having a friend for life that is your significant other makes the relationship fun and strong because all the foundational components discovered in your friendship only strengthen your relationship. A friendship first would not deviate from having a possible relationship. Our generation as college students, should take some advice from John Legend and take it slow, oh ohhhh, this time we’ll take it slow….am I right?



Shekinah Banks

Hampton U '22

My name is Shekinah Banks and I attend Hampton University. I am a second-year English major with a concentration in Creative Writing from Prince Georges' County Maryland. Becoming a criminal prosecutor is my dream alongside possibly starting my own YouTube channel.