Here I am another HBCU student tricked by the expectations that were set by Whitley Gilbert and Dwayne Wayne. I remember watching A Different World when I was younger and thinking “yes, this will be my life in college”; surrounded by young black intellectuals and ultimately getting my HBCU love story. Boy! Was I wrong! Even though Hillman College was based off Hampton University, I am so far from any modern-day Whitley Gilbert.
Whitley and Dwayne were not perfect. They constantly had their feuds; it also took them so long for them to realize that their affection for each other was mutual. Despite, their indifferences they were soulmates. Whitley and Dwayne came from two totally different worlds, which added to their frequent arguments. However, they were willing to grow with each other. Here lies the first criticism with modern relationships today in comparison to Whitley and Dwayne. My generation is not willing to learn. Everyone is so set in their own love languages and declarations of what they think love is; whereas any successful relationship both parties are willing and able to grow. In one of their most famous scenes, after their millionth argument and millionth dramatic breakup, Whitley and Dwayne both admit they taught each other how to love.
The whole idea of the “talking stage” was completely absent in the show, Thank God! The talking stage is not real and that’s why Whitley and Dwayne were able to flourish so well in the show. The talking stage is a critical part of why today’s relationships fail. Truthfully, Whitley and Dwayne would not have been together if they had to go through a talking stage. However, they were not constantly preyed on by this awful stage. The talking stage has been swapped out with “dating”. No one really knows what it consists of, because once again it is a made-up term. One thing about Whitley before she began dating Dwayne exclusively was, she always going on a date. People at Hampton RARELY go on dates anymore, or the date in question is to the waterfront. I mean that’s cute if you are a freshman but after that it becomes less cute. I know we’re in college and money is limited. But it’s never about the money to girls. Whitley was well-off but in one of the most famous scenes she explains to Dwayne how a man who’s “educated, enterprising and ambitious” will never be poor.
Whitley and Dwayne are not the only ones who tricked me to believe that I would find the love of my life in college. The entire show fueled my delusions. There were so many cute men in the show. Don’t get me wrong there are some cute men here at Hampton; however, the pool of men itself at my HBCU is very limited. In every episode of A Different World, there was a new piece of eye candy. The current women to men ratio at my historically black university is 64% women to 36% men. Once you see a guy here you see him everywhere. Not to mention, who else has this man been with or still with. The number of men here is so little that you are more likely to be playing sister wives with another girl that you have never seen on campus.
With less than 100 days until graduation, I have officially flown my little white flag for any hope of my HBCU love story. I have seen others splurge in the bliss of an HBCU love story; however, these last four years have forced me to take a backseat ride to anything remotely imitating the love Whitely and Dwayne shared . I will say that my HBCU experience has not been anything less because of the absence of my own Dwayne. I have met an awesome group of black intellectuals that challenge me in every way possible and I am forever grateful.