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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Tell if He’s Just Not That Into You

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Hampton U chapter.

It’s cuffing season, ladies and gents. The time where everyone looks for someone to keep them warm during the cold weather and buy them gifts for Christmas. Because cuffing season is seen as an urgent matter, it causes people to try to force their love onto a person who doesn’t really like them as much as they think the person does. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you have time to find someone who really likes you and gives you the same energy you give them, so don’t settle. If you’re unsure how to tell if someone really likes you, these tips should help.

Always too busy to talk to you

We all know that people get busy and they have lives outside of whatever relationships or situationships that they are in, but if the guy you’re talking to or dating is always too busy to talk to you, then that is a problem. If someone is busy enough to where they know they won’t be able to talk to you and they really like they you, they are going to make sure that you know ahead of time that you may not hear from them that much for a day or two.There should be no reason you go without hearing from someone for a long time and when you finally text them about it, then they tell you that they were busy. A person who really likes you cares about what you think and would not want you to think that they’re not interested.

Only calls or texts during “u up?” hours…

For those who dont know “u up?” hours range from about twelve or 1 in the morning to four in the morning. If you and the guy you’re interested in already have an understanding then cool, but if you think you’re going to get a real relationship out of someone who only contacts you during late hours you may be wrong about that one. In order for a relationship to work a guy has to like you as a person and not just what you give him. Which leads to the next one…

Only calls or texts you when they need or want something

Some people just want to use you for what you have and what you can give them. These people don’t actually want to be with you; they may see you as an ATM, a chauffeur, a dumping ground for their emotions, or just a person to have sex with but definitely not someone as a future wifey or hubby. If you notice that someone only tries to talk to you when they’re broke, need a ride, sad, horny, or all four at once, that is not the person for you. You need to kindly leave them where they’re at because you deserve better.

You’re always the first to make contact

Now some people are just the go with the flow type so if you text them first everyday they will let you and be content with that. If one day you decide not to text them first and you don’t hear from them until the next time you text, there is a problem. If you really like this person then maybe you should have a talk about it to see where their head is at. Of course, they’re going to say they thought you were busy, but just have a talk anyway. If you decide to try not texting them first again and you don’t hear from them until the next time you contact them, they don’t really like you and it is time to move on.

They told you they’re not looking for a relationship

This one is very important because a lot of people will show you and tell you their intention, but it’s up to you to take heed. I’m sure some of you are looking at this last one and thinking thats its dumb, because who could think that they could have something with someone who made it clear that they don’t want a relationship. Well, when you’re looking at things with your heart eyes, anything seems possible. When you really like someone, they could have cheated on every other person they have been with but somehow you’ll think that things will be different with you.

I say all of this to say, try to be conscientious when catching feelings, no matter what time of year it is. I know this is easier said than done especially for those of us who fall hard and fast, but you have to protect your heart because no one else can do that but you. Look for the signs before putting your all into someone and cuff responsibly.

Kierstyn Chambers is a first year English Education Major, from Birmingham, Alabama. She enjoys helping people and making the people around her happy. She plans to become a teacher and try to help low income school systems. She also loves movies and poetry.