So you’ve been cheated on. It seems like everything your significant other told you was a lie and now you can’t believe anything he’s been saying lately and you’re forced to make the big decision. Do you dump him or reconcile?
First and foremost, it is important to know that your significant other’s infidelities are not your fault. You can be the best, brightest and most beautiful and somehow he or she will still cheat. Cheating is not a reflection of you but a reflection of your significant other. Once you have that worked out you can make a clearer decision. I am by no means here to tell you whether or not you should take back your man or leave him in the wind but, there are some helpful questions that you should ask yourself- and your beau- that might help you make your decision.
A lot of us women like to think men can change- or better yet that we have the power to change them. This is absolutely false and will only cloud your judgement even more. If you think you can change your man or somehow love him into loving you the way you deserved to be loved you’re only fooling yourself. In fact, this type of thinking is simply a distraction to the real issue at hand. Dealing with a cheater is not an issue of whether or not he can change and be a good person again, but a matter of trust. The truth of the matter is that this person violated your trust and hurt your feelings- sounds lame and remedial but that’s basically it. Your feelings have been hurt and it is okay to admit that. In fact, the best thing to do in this situation is to be honest and let your partner know exactly how this made you feel. Once you’ve been honest about your feelings and get them in check it’s time to move on to the real questions.
Is he even worth it?
Keep in mind that we’re young! You are by no means tied down to anyone in your college years because this is when there truly are plenty of fish in the sea. So, ask yourself if this is someone who is really worth the extra time- and trust that it will take some extra effort to get back to a happy place in your relationship again?
Is he a serial cheater?
A man with a history of cheating will more than likely revert to his old ways sooner or later. But if it was a one time thing at a point in your relationship when it was already rocky then it may be easier to reconcile.
Do they regret cheating?
If your cheating boyfriend feels no remorse for the way he’s made you feel then there really isn’t much reconciliation that can take place. Leave him alone.
Getting over cheating is possible but, it takes time and effort. Understand that you are not the problem and determine whether or not you even want to put in the extra work to get things back on track. You can channel your inner Beyonce and tell him “boy bye” or, -still channeling Bey you can always remind him of the sandcastles you all built and work it out.