As Valentine’s Day rolls around, most singles are being tempted to delete all of their social media and any mention of love in preparation for this lovey-dovey holiday. Likewise, I have been pressured to do the same; I have always been single on Valentine’s Day so, this year will be no different. Since this year will be no different, I have decided instead of questioning why I am single, I will take my time to enjoy the lack of responsibilities my singlehood has to offer.
After 19 years of never having a significant other, sometimes I still question why I have not found my first great love. In years past, I have occupied my time with talking stages and flings, but I have never made it to an actual relationship. I am not really sure what features about me makes me unapproachable, but to keep my sanity I have decided to think men are just threatened by my beauty. I am allowed to feel overconfident about myself, therefore I do not feel worse about my situation; we exist. Since I have been single my whole life, I have to believe that my lack of having a significant other is only a convenience rather than a testament that something is wrong with me.
As I continued to dwell on my lack of a love interest, I started to realize mistakes in past “situationships” that prevented me and my “little friend” from taking the next step. The common theme that my situationships have is that I have never felt like I was anyone’s first choice. I have always felt like there was someone better out there for them. This awful feeling has led me to a mixture of self-doubt and a decrease in self-confidence. Therefore, after my situationships I have ended up becoming very critical of my every move, settling with this is why no one likes me. Through much needed isolation and self- love, I began to accept my flaws.
While learning my worth, I started to feel sorry for past me because I would settle for bottom of the barrel men. In years past, I would rather someone treat me terribly because I longed for someone to call me “pretty” at the end of the day. As I am learning to accept and love my singlehood, I am more concerned with protecting my energy. Therefore, I am very skeptical of who I let into my inner circle. I have protected my heart and my feelings for so long, I cannot imagine any unworthy person ruining my sanity. I am not saying that my next interest has to be the ‘the one”, but I’d rather wait for someone worthy of wasting my time than give my time to any decent person.
With the dreaded February holiday coming up, I have also started to appreciate the fact that I do not have a designated Valentine. Valentine’s Day just seems like so much unnecessary stress (do not quote me on this whenever I happen to be in a relationship on Valentine’s Day). I’d rather treat myself to a new pair of shoes and chocolate covered strawberries. Yes, this might sound a little selfish, but I am in that awkward stage of having everything figured out and having nothing figured out, so I am supposed to be a little selfish with my time. Even though I am a full time- student and part-time worker, I really do not have many responsibilities, so why waste my time?
I would absolutely be lying if I told you all that whenever I see a happy couple on twitter, I did not want a little bit of their seemingly happy relationship. But as I have learned from many Tyler Perry films, a picture only tells half a story. I would rather be happily single than attached to someone that does not make me happy. So why would I be drawn to a relationship that I only see the ups of?
As the painful pink and red holiday comes near, I wish nothing more than to treat myself. So, my advice to all you singles out there would be to treat yourself to that bouquet of flowers or chocolate covered strawberries. Cheers to another year of being single, a happy single!