We all know the Summer Walker song Girls Need Love. But, have we ever stopped to really listen to the words? We enthusiastically sing the lyrics, “Girls can’t ever say they want it, girls can’t ever say how.” Not fully understanding the context behind them. In the song, Summer Walker refers to the sexual double standards faced by women in a society that focuses on male pleasure.
Unfortunately, Summer Walker was right. We’re apart of a culture where women are not able to verbally express their need for sexual pleasure. Sexual double standards apply to not only conversation but body count, clothing, and so much more. When it comes to sex, men just have it easier.
Let’s start with a simple conversation. In our generation, sex is nothing new to us. We hear about it every day on the radio, on television, and among our peers. But have we noticed that there is even a double standard with what men and women are “allowed” to say? For example, hearing a guy say to his friends while admiring women, “She looks good. I’d hit that.” is perceived as normal. On the other hand, hearing women tell her friends while admiring a man, “He looks good, I’d let him hit this.” is deemed as taboo and provocative. There is nothing wrong with either party expressing their admiration for the opposite sex. However, the woman is looked at as more erotic and it’s unfair. The double standard is inevitable.
Now, to “body counts”. A body count is simply the number of people someone has had sex with. According to a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, women are looked at as less attractive when they’re perceived to have more sexual partners. The body count of a man, however, does not seem to matter. Men are able to have multiple sexual partners and not be socially shunned because of it. On the other hand, if a women were to openly have multiple sexual partners, she’d be labeled automatically. A women’s sexual experience should not associate with her value. At the end of the day, there’s nothing cool about sleeping with multiple people no matter the gender. But, if one gender is shamed for it, it’s only right for the other gender to be shamed for it as well. Additionally, it is assumed in a negative manner that women are sexually active because of the clothes they wear. Women who wear short, tight, or revealing clothes are often labeled, and others feel as though they are dressed that way because they want to have sex. A woman should be allowed to wear whatever she wants without the pressure of being judged.
Women should no longer be judged or labeled because of their expression of sexual needs, amount of sexual partners, or what they decide to wear. Instead, women should be embraced. Embraced for knowing what they want and being confident enough to say it out loud. The double standard being held against women is demeaning and disables women from being able to express themselves. The future of women depends on how this generation and beyond treats the sexual needs of women.