Realize that you’re going to be more than okay.
Often times in a toxic relationship, we abandon who we are in an effort to salvage what is left of the relationship. This is also the point where we start to fall out of love with ourselves. When this happens we hand over our whole self-worth and everything that makes us who we are to this other person. Before we know it our whole mood becomes entirely dependent on them. When the relationship ends, we don’t know how to cope without them. The truth is you’re going to be more than just okay. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you and so much to accomplish. If you chose to let go, and fall and back in love with yourself.
Stop fighting the old.
Don’t try to make sense of why the person did what they did. You can spend years searching for an answer and still end up with nothing. Why they did it is not important. What is important is right now, this moment, and focusing on the new. Trying to fight the old is a battle you will never win, and you could be using that energy to focus on the new, to initiate the life you actually want to live.
Learn to let go.
You cannot move forward with your life with one foot on the brakes. Sometimes, we don’t want to let go of our pain because it is the only thing still attaching us to our ex. To let go of your pain means to let go of our ex, and sometimes we are just not ready for that. Holding on hurts much worse than letting go. However the energy it takes to hold on can prevent you from living your life to the fullest, you end up missing out on things.
Forgive.
I know that heartbreak can feel like a stab to the heart, but understand that someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. Forgive them. Someone’s past, their demons, whatever the reason is, some people are not ready for love and happiness and their only way to make sense of things is to push you away.
Love them from afar.
When someone comes in to your life and touches your heart, they stay there forever. However when your mood becomes entirely dependent on them it then becomes a toxic relationship. You end up losing the love that you have for yourself. Don’t be frustrated if you still love them, its normal, just be sure to love them from afar.
Understand your worth.
This is the most vital step to falling back in love with yourself. It is understanding what you are and what you are not willing to compromise on. Never abandon yourself in the effort to keep someone or something.
Don’t regret anything.
We are only human, and we do make mistakes. As long as you learn from them mistakes are inevitable in any life worth living. They teach you exactly what you want and who you want to be. Maybe you and your ex fought too much, maybe you argued with them at inopportune times. However your anger was only fueled by your feelings for them. You cared. You loved them. Don’t regret it.
All that pain and frustration shaped you.
You cried, you laughed, you were happy, and that changed your life. All that pain has created a new way of living for you. You now have a chance to be happier than you have ever been. You now realize everything that has held you back, and you can now create the life that you want to live.
Learn to love all of your flaws.
You loved all of your ex’s flaws, all their edges and roughness. Their imperfections were perfect to you. Why can’t you do that for yourself? Love those bits of you that some people don’t know how to handle.
Crave more from yourself.
You confronted your ex a lot. You wanted more from them. You had opinions and big dreams of the future; you wanted the best for them. You never let them slack on their talents. Do the same for yourself! There is a more extraordinary love out there that you would never know if you didn’t end it with the last one. Still, the extraordinary has to start with you. Fall back in love with yourself and let the rest follow.