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Sex + Relationships

Being In a Long Distance Relationship & How To Keep One

Everyone seems to have such negative ideas about long distance relationships. Holding the feeling that it can be too hard or that it will never work out because you guys don’t get to see each other. However, my boyfriend, Caleb Callender, and I decided to talk about what we feel can make a healthy and successful long distance relationship from our experience. We are over four hours away from each other and are at two completely different colleges.

CC: Honestly, I feel like you shouldn’t go into college with your long distance relationship having been your first one. You should have different experiences before making a long distance commitment. It is harder to be in a relationship with  someone when you haven’t already built that understanding and foundation with your significant other before y’all are miles apart. Also, a long distance relationship isn’t something you should go into with doubt. You need to have an established trust and tenacity in the relationship because if one person doesn’t trust the other, it can start a lot more problems. 

KS: I agree with Caleb a lot. It takes a certain type of person to be able to be in a long distance relationship and in our case, that is 244 miles away. Without a set foundation and lack of strong communication it can make this experience a lot harder. Being in a long distance relationship can honestly teach you a lot about yourself and what you can handle. You have to have a certain type of confidence in your relationship as well. There are gonna be a lot of people who are gonna tell you it’s not gonna work but you have to know within yourself that y’all are good and that’s all that matters. However, I don’t agree that being in a long distance relationship as your first one should completely steer you away from staying with your significant other. If you feel like they’re really someone that you want to stay with, then go for it!

 

CC:  Another thing that you should be prepared for are ups and downs. It’s not always gonna be happy times where you want to talk to each other all the time. From experience, it definitely helps to be able to see the person a couple of times throughout the year, not including breaks. Going 3 months at a time in between, can be really hard on a relationship, and I have seen this with other relationships around me. Being able to have a weekend where you guys can spend time together can help to remind you of why you are in a long distance relationship in the first place.

KS: One thing that I think has helped us so far is that Caleb and I were really close friends before we actually started dating so being in this relationship just feels like I’m with my best friend. We really understand each other because of how well we knew each other before we started dating so it’s kinda like he knows me better than I know myself. I also like it because he is like one of my outlets that I have so if I’m not really feeling school at the moment, he’s someone who isn’t at Hampton and can just give me like an unbiased take on what’s going on. Yes, it’s hard but as long as you make time for each other and have the same mindset about where you want the relationship to go, it can be done. One thing that I really admire that Caleb actually came up with himself was having a little “date” over facetime at least two times a month. During this time, we will usually order the same food at the same time to our dorms then just enjoy each others company with just me, him and our food. We make sure to do this at a time when we’re completely free and have no other distractions so we can just focus on each other.

I commend all of the fellow long distance relationship couples out there. It’s rough at times especially when you see other people boo’d up around campus and your boo is miles away, but don’t let this stop you from being with the one you love.

Kayla Smith

Hampton U '23

Kayla Smith is a sophomore journalism major from Columbia, MD. She enjoys writing, listening to music and traveling. She is very excited to be attending Hampton University and to expand her skills at her illustrious HBCU.
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