As black women, we have been taught to hate ourselves through the beauty standards of our society. Since the beginning of our time in America, our afrocentric features have been put down and ridiculed. From the color of our skin, the curl of our hair, and the shape of our bodies, we’ve been conditioned to believe that what we have to offer isn’t beautiful. It is time we learn to love what we were taught to hate. If you feel as though you struggle with self love and accepting yourself, this is for you.
Start by making time for yourself and ONLY you.
The first step to self love is to make time for yourself. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the obligations of school, work, extracurricular activities, relationships etc. Find time in each day to sit down and focus on just you. This could mean keeping a journal, meditating, or even just catching up on your favorite show on netflix. Spending time to unwind and focus on what you need is very beneficial. You deserve the energy you put into other things and people.
Now, acknowledge everything you love about yourself.
Stop telling yourself what needs to be changed. Instead, embrace what you already have. As black women especially, were always telling ourselves what needs to be done to enhance our beauty. Every morning look in the mirror and find something unique about you that you love. It could be as simple as acknowledging that your skin is clearing up or that you’re having a good hair day. This goes for not only physical appearance but accomplishments as well. Set small goals and reach them. Don’t forget to applaud yourself for every victory!
Affirm, Affirm, and Affirm some more!
Just to clarify, affirmations are nothing but sentences aimed to affect the way we think. Affirmations are used to motivate. Positive statements produce positive behavior. Think of a sentence that focuses on self love and repeat that sentence to yourself whenever you want, wherever you want. We allow negative thoughts to take over way too easily. When it comes down to yourself, focus on nothing but positive thoughts and your attitude will improve dramatically.
Lastly cut toxic ties.
Nothing screams self love like getting rid of all toxic energy in your life. Although cutting people off may be hard due to history or emotions, I promise you will feel so much better once they’re cut off for good. Whether they’re a significant other, family member or friend, never be afraid to get rid of someone who drains your positive energy. Don’t be toxic to yourself by allowing toxic people to stay in your life. You deserve better!
Despite everything in life stopping you from loving yourself, you are a queen and you should treat yourself as such. It’s time we love everything about ourselves, by all means necessary.