Alright y’all, listen up. Men and women can have platonic friendships. Yes, it is possible. No, the sky isn’t falling, pigs are not flying. I’m not sure where the stigma came from that men and women who have a close relationship will always end up having feelings for each other. Does it happen sometimes? Yes, it does, but it does not happen all the time. There’s nothing wrong with having a guy best friend if you’re a girl or a girl best friend if you’re a guy. In my friend group, there are two men and two women, including me, and we consider ourselves a family more than anything. We are all very close and hang out with each other a lot. Sometimes it would be me and one guy, other times it would be the other girl and the other guy and vice versa. Ironically enough, when the other girl and guy would hang out, people would think that they were “together” when it was really just two friends doing homework or just chilling. It’s honestly time to stop the assumption that just because two people are close, means that they’re dating or like each other. We’re getting to the point where we are too old and grown for that. This isn’t kindergarten, when Nick hugged Taylor so that meant they “liked” each other. No ma’am, we’re about to go out in the world and be adults who have to make grown decisions and choices. In all honesty, having friends of the opposite sex can help with making those decisions because they offer a different perspective and viewpoint. It’s also great to have people of the opposite sex give advice especially because they’ve had different experiences. It’s great to get a guy’s perspective about how to talk to other guys and to take a look into their mindset. One of my guy friends honestly helped me understand that I was in a toxic relationship and that I needed to get out. I kept doubting what other people were saying because they were either related to me or I assumed they were agreeing with me because they were women. That might sound bad but I finally got the perspective of someone who is not related to me, is not a woman and still knows how I operate as a person. I feel as if it’s similar for guys too. They can understand more how to approach certain situations with women by being friends with other women. Now I’m not saying that there should not be boundaries between friends of the opposite sex. It honestly depends on the friendship and if the friends have outside relationships as well. For me personally, if my boyfriend has a woman as a friend and she sits on his lap to “play around” or whatever, she’s going to be hit with the BOUNDARIES and a conversation will be had about what is appropriate and what is not. But if my boyfriend and his friend just go out to get food or something like that, that’s fine because not everything has to be a date. As far as I know the type of relationship they have and they understand the type of relationship me and my boyfriend have, there will be no problems.
Communication. Communication is key and if you have an issue with a male or female friend, talk to your significant other and talk to the friend too so you can understand their intentions. Know yourself as well so you understand that you might have been hurt by a certain situation in the past so you’re not as trusting. So, if you’re not ready to be in a relationship with a guy who has female friends or vice versa, you need to evaluate whether or not this relationship is for you. Just because people have friends of the opposite sex, doesn’t mean that they are cheating or doing “un-decent” things with that friend. In all honesty, that’s something I may have to work on with my next relationship after the events that occurred in my past relationship. I need to make sure that I do not create a problem out of nothing simply because I am paranoid about my boyfriend cheating on me. But I also need to be adult enough to address the scars that I have and communicate with my significant other and his friend when there is something that I do not feel comfortable with. If it gets to the point where my voice is not being heard or maybe even ignored, then an evaluation needs to happen to figure out whether or not this is a situation and/or relationship I need to be in. A friendship doesn’t have to get between a relationship and a relationship doesn’t have to get between a friendship (That’s another article for another day). At the end of the day, everyone just needs to talk to each other. Without communication, no type of friendship or relationship will work and if you see a man and a woman out together by themselves, try not to assume that they’re in a relationship. It can just be two friends hanging out, having a nice time with each other.