Imagine this: you’re just hanging out with your besties like any other day. Just doing the usual; scrolling on social media, gossiping, laughing, etc. You all start talking about your futures and your goals. She starts by saying that she is going to modeling school. You know that it has been her goal to be a super successful model. You encourage her, telling her that you can see her as the next Tyra Banks. You really want to see her be successful! It’s your turn. You tell her that you plan on being a top tier journalist, hoping to make it on Good Morning America some day. This has been your lifelong dream! But then, one of your girls says something that doesn’t sit well with you. She says how she doesn’t see you making it that far and that you don’t have the personality to be an anchor on GMA. You’re taken aback. You start to doubt yourself. You think about changing your career route. Your “best friend” only wants the best for you, why would she tell you something that isn’t valid?
The real question is, does she really want what’s best for you? Or is she just trying to one-up you? Make sure she’s doing better than you? This is a problem with a lot of girls now-a-days. They are not true friends and are kind of just using their friends to make them look better. Real friends should never be in competition. Real friends encourage each other to go for their dreams and empower each other when those goals are accomplished. It is really a shame how much envy lies within the hearts of many these days. If you find yourself being jealous of your friends when you see them doing good, then that is a personal problem. That means your confidence is not where it needs to be.
I was once told by one of my former friends that she needed more light-skinned friends. She mentioned how light-skinned girls are so pretty, and how she would like to have at least one. At the time I didn’t speak on it. Now that I am looking back on it, I don’t know why I didn’t confront her about what she said. Me, being of a darker skin tone, wondered what exactly she meant by this statement. Did she mean that I was not pretty enough because my skin is dark? Did my love and support as a friend not mean anything to her? I really considered this friend as my sister, so this statement rubbed me the wrong way. It really hurt my feelings.
It is really sad to see, but the love and support in friendships are not always reciprocated. People often think that this is really supposed to be a part of relationships. But when you think about it, friendships are relationships. In my opinion, friendships are stronger than relationships. Because when your significant other isn’t acting right, who do you run to? Who do you cry to? You know the answer. Our friends are supposed to have our backs at all times. Now, this doesn’t mean they are yes-men. They will tell you when you’re in the wrong and put you in check sometimes. It’s all out of love. However, it’s a different story when they are trying to hold you back from your dreams and aspirations. Or when they say slick, backhanded remarks that are said “jokingly.” Not all jokes that people tell are jokes. Sometimes those jokes are their true feelings about you. Everyone wants to believe that their friends have their best interest at heart, but unfortunately some people are just sneaky, conniving, and plain old fake. Moral of the story is, be careful who you call your friend. If his or her heart is genuine, you will know and there is nothing that can change it.