Don’t you just love love? Boy meets girl they fall in love and live happily ever after. How about boy meets girl, boy “talks” to girl for a while, and then talks to Jane down the street and… Happily ever after? Our generation has coined the term “talking” in which means what? Is this the medium between friends and more than friends? Friends with benefits? Or full blown relationship? This is where the confusion comes in. We as a generation so used to instant gratification have placed our relationships on convenience mode. Hercampus took to the streets of Hampton University to find out what “talking” really is and how it is defined.
We got a chance to talk to Junior biology major Jared Bourke, who told us his definition of talking. “To me talking is establishing that you are more than friends but y’all are less than boyfriend and girlfriend”.
So would you say if you are “talking” to someone exclusively could this be potential bae? Hercampus also got to speak to first year pharmacy student Marnie Martin, who explained that there are levels to talking and how the determination of your exclusivity is all dependent on your vibes, communication, and chemistry. She refers to this as “Tryouts for a relationship”.
Now that we have gotten a few things cleared up, how long do you “talk” to someone before you are in a relationship? Nia Williams a biology pre-med major says, “I wouldn’t put a time period on that”, but on the other hand, Treliah Samuels a junior sociology major says that, “My time period would have to be a month, if I’m not feeling you and we aren’t vibing within a month then I can’t not waist my time talking to you any longer.”
It is clear that the stages of dating and courtship have definitely evolved over time. Martha Baye, a Junior international studies major agrees that this new coined term has had a negative impact on the way we view dating as a whole. “Talking in the getting to know someone stage and how do you get to know someone exclusively. That doesn’t make any since.”
Regardless of what stage you are at with someone the most important rule is to make sure there is always clear communication. The biggest issue with “talking” is so many times there are miscommunications, misunderstandings, and confusion. Make sure you clear this up with your talking partner and establish where this “talkingship” will be going from the beginning.