Growing up African American is inherently difficult. You face discrimination since the day you’re born and anything you want takes double the work that your peers of other races put in. As many people put it, we are inherently unequal.
It has often been argued that being African American is the largest difficulty someone can face. This, however, is no longer true. Today there is a new level of discrimination for African American members of the LGBTQIA+ community. An unprecedented level of oppression faces members of this community and we see it so blatantly all over the country today.
If you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, June 26th, 2015 was a day of ignited hope for you. On that day, Obama so eloquently made legal, the union of same sex couples under the law. For once in their lives, members of this community were able to see their love be equal to that of heterosexuals under the law. Since then, LGBTQIA+ movements have taken over this country. We’ve seen advocates from all over the world come together in record breaking numbers to show their appreciation for this newfound equality within the U.S.
We thought as a country that this meant new heights and groundbreaking change, in reality; African Americans were greeted by the same conditional equality we face time and time again. We’d soon realize that these movements weren’t meant for us nor were they headed by us. Our sexuality was always seen as a separate faction to the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole; instead of equality for all it became equality for the Caucasian members of the community and disdain for the African American members.
It should be no surprise that this legalization became race oriented. We’ve seen it time and time again. Looking at events such as the Women’s Suffrage Movement where the focus became white voting rights instead of all voting rights or the War on Drugs that became singly focused on African American communities. Anytime there is a fight for some type of equality or justice, African Americans are rarely included fully. We always find ourselves left out of the bigger picture, a picture that we often times help to paint. This meaning, we fight alongside other races to alleviate injustices, we get our hands just as dirty, if not dirtier in the quest for what we believe in, only for our work to go unnoticed.
Dealing with this struggle is only miniscule in comparison to what we have to deal with at home. Our own mothers and fathers look down upon us, seeing as less than because we chose a soul convicted love over an accepted love. Too often we hear our black brothers tell us how their father called them derogatory slurs and disowned them for choosing a reality they could not understand. We see our black sisters actively try to hide and deny their identity out of fear of no longer being “mommy’s princess” or “daddy’s little girl”. If you’re black and homosexual you often do not get a choice. Your parents tell you who you are is unacceptable, and blindly you must be someone else.
To be homosexual and black is to be nationally misunderstood.
If you’re reading this and you identify as both homosexual and African American, we urge you to never dim your light. No matter what your parents say, choose love. No matter what your employer says, choose happiness no matter what your friends say, choose peace.
Neglecting your true identity will never make it go away. That discomfort you feel in the pit of your stomach and that coldness you feel around your heart will never rest until you choose who you are wholly and unapologetically. Understand that no one can live your life for you. Sure our families’ opinions matter to us and rebellion is easier said than done, but that does not mean you should not live your truest life.
No one said it would be easy. In fact, on the contrary your journey to full acceptance of yourself will be one of your hardest fights. But that is the only way you will ever live your best life.