What comes to your mind when you hear the names Adam and Eve? Some may say something along the lines of God, a snake, nudity, and betrayal. Others may simply say that it was all Eve’s fault that we’re in such a mess today. It seems like history blames the two for bringing sin, lust and even death into the world, but when you think about it, Adam & Eve is a love story that can teach us a lot about love today. In the article, “10 Things Singles can Learn From Adam and Eve,” published on March 2, 2017, on the Washington Post, Rachel Raczka writes an analysis on author Bruce Feiler’s book, The First Love Story: Adam, Eve, & Us and after reading it myself, it definitely clears any and all doubts.
The article mentions that Feiler traveled to six different countries to meet experts on Adam & Eve, asking how they relate to modern gender, sexuality, and religion. And according to Feiler, there is a lot that relates to the present day.
Here are some takeaways from the article that stuck out to me.
It’s normal not to want to be alone.
Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” This is an example of original unity. This unity includes a unity of body and soul, man and woman, and between God and man. So it’s human nature to crave companionship. “Modern psychology has said that the biggest threat to well-being is isolation and disconnection,” Feiler said. “It’s a special part of being alive, to be connected to another person.”
Healthy relationships can survive doubt.
In the Bible, Adam and Eve were told to not eat the forbidden fruit. But what pushes Eve to start man’s downfall? Well in the article Feiler gives his answer. “Each person [in a relationship] needs to feel like themselves; it’s a balance of dependence and interdependence,” Feiler explains. “When [Eve] realizes she’s not happy, [it’s] because she doesn’t want to be a subset of Adam. That prompts her going into the garden alone, and eating the fruit. She thinks, ‘If I am just an appendage of him, this relationship is not going to work. I need to have a voice and knowledge.’ I think that’s a powerful lesson to anyone who is eager to make a relationship work by minimizing their own identity.”
Don’t mistake codependency for compromise.
The amazing part of Adam and Eve’s long-standing relationship (they were together until Adam died at 930), is their chosen interdependence, Feiler says. After Eve gets the fruit, “she could be like, ‘I can keep it all to myself,’ but she doesn’t want to be entirely alone. Instead, she goes back to Adam,” Feiler explains. “And Adam knows it’s wrong [to eat the fruit], but he asks himself, ‘Do I choose obligation and duty? Or do I choose companionship?’ For me, that’s the most romantic moment of the story, when Adam eats the fruit, too.”
Love stories are written by two people together.
Adam and Eve are not just the first love story, Feiler calls them the “first joint byline.” “The number one thing I learned myself is that love is storytelling, but particularly love is a story that we tell with another person,” Feiler says. “I call it co-creation through co-narration. It has happy moments and unhappy moments, but we weave them together into one narrative that we tell jointly.”
So there you have it: an interesting perspective on the story of Adam & Eve. There are many more points that the article talks about but I recommend reading the article for yourself. In fact, if this made the wheels in your brain spin, then check out Bruce Feiler’s book!