How to Poop at Hamline: A Ranking of Toilets

We all poop in public bathrooms. Sure, we tell everyone that we don’t. That they’re too gross, but secretly we still use them. Everyone complains far too much about Hamline’s toilets not to. As a result, we all know which ones are the closest to all of our classes. But which ones are the best? More importantly, which ones should we be avoiding at all costs? Have no fear. We at Her Campus Hamline have ranked the top and bottom three for your viewing - and pooping - pleasure. 

The Literal Best:

1.) Anderson Center, Second Floor

Why? How many times have you found yourself pooping in the Anderson Center second floor bathroom? Probably not a lot. No one wants to explain to your friends at lunch why you took so long getting back. 

When? As with any public bathroom experience, early in the morning is always your best bet. If it’s not worth going out of your way so early in the morning, than between meal times are good alternatives. 

 

2.) Robin’s Science Center, First Floor

Why? Science majors are the cleanest, of course! Though, more likely it’s because of the smaller number of classrooms. Therefore, a smaller number of students filtering through and judging you for taking your sweet time. 

When? During classes for optimal pooping privacy.

 

3.) East Hall/West Hall

Why? Either one will do. These are some of the newer ones on campus, and some of the cleanest. Using the East and West toilets are an experience that every college student must have before they leave. 

When? Early in the morning and in the middle of usual class times. Or late in the evening after classes end. 

 

The Literal Worst:

1.) Giddens Learning Center, First Floor

Why? Where do we even begin? The smell...the constant line...the way the toilets are just raised high enough to be uncomfortable. And my personal “favorite,” only having two stalls for one of the busiest buildings on campus.  

When? Between classes is the WORST. 0/10 would not recommend. If you’re running late to class and have no choice, forget being on time. If the line doesn’t kill you, than the mysterious puddles in the corner will. But, if you have no other choice, then hit ‘em early in the morning in the middle of classes.

 

2.) Drew Science Center, First Floor

Why? Similar reasons as above. Fortunately, they’re a little less crowded than GLC, but don’t count on them if you have the choice. 

When? You seeing a pattern here? Yeah, don’t go in the afternoon or in between class times if you value your bathroom experience.

 

3.) Hutton Arena/Bush Student Center

Why? The smell! The terrible, awful smell! The strange mixture of sweat, chlorine, and...uh...

When? If there’s one thing I have to say about the Hutton bathrooms, it’s that they are rarely too busy. Evenings during athletic events are probably the worst you’ll see them. Weekends aren’t a smart choice either.

 

So there we are. The best and the worst. The next time that you inevitably feel the need to poop and a private bathroom is unavoidable, we got you covered!