Thanksgiving is often a time for relatives to come together, eat turkey and yell about politics. Family drama often comes to a head during this divisive meal, and that can be incredibly stressful. Here are a few tips on how to handle Turkey Day if you anticipate a difficult family reunion.
1. Remember Arguments Are Pointless
I have to remind myself of this all the time when I’m on the internet and see a particularly disagreeable comment: no one is going to change their mind from an internet argument. The same goes for Thanksgiving dinner. Great-uncle Ralph doesn’t share his political opinions because he’s ready for a reasoned debate and open to the possibility that he’s wrong. All you would be accomplishing by arguing is upsetting yourself. I know sometimes we feel obligated to stand up for what we believe in, but there’s a time and a place, and holiday dinner is not that place.
If something divisive comes up, change the subject or just flat-out say that you don’t want to talk about that right now. If you have some family members who are on your side, make a plan together on how you’ll all handle difficult situations — maybe one person will change the subject while another checks in to make sure everyone else is doing okay. It can help knowing you aren’t alone.
2. Take Time for Yourself
If you need a break, take one! Excuse yourself to the bathroom for a few minutes for a breather during the meal. Before or afterwards, offer to help prepare dinner or clean up the dishes so you can escape into another room. Once you can, spend some time alone decompressing. Even the best families can be chaotic, and Thanksgiving is a lot to handle. Reward yourself at the end of the day with a funny TV episode or a warm bath.
3. Rely on Friends
Friends don’t have to be physically present to be supportive. If you have a friend you can text during the day, that’s a great way to vent about any family drama. Typing it out to someone who’s not present and will sympathize with you can relieve some of the stress. Or, save it all up and vent in a phone call after everyone goes home. Either way, knowing you have someone on your side who will agree that families can be ridiculous and infuriating helps you through the drama.
4. Focus on the Good
Try to focus on the good stuff, like how nice it is to see your favorite cousin again or how delicious the pumpkin pie tastes. If you can’t find anything good and just want to get out, then remember that it’s just one day and it will be over soon!
Thanksgiving can be a stressful occasion. Relatives don’t always see eye-to-eye and the holidays can bring out the worst in people. Remember that it’s just one day and it only comes once a year. Take care of yourself.