Facts That Will Ruin Your Childhood

Our childhood is supposed to be a very special and pure time in our lives. We somehow convince ourselves that we understand how the world works and take what is presented to us at face value. For better or worse, most of the information we take in is from cartoons and kids shows and movies that we grow to idolize. However, when adulthood hits us like a ton of bricks, we tend to learn things about these idolization. Things we don’t want to learn. And if I have to know these things, then so do you. So here are a bunch of facts that will make you question everything about your childhood.

Blue is a girl:

An oldie but a goodie (or badie?). That’s right, if you somehow missed this memo, Blue from the iconic Blue’s Clues is a girl.  

Squidward is an octopus:

So he’s not a squid? Then why is he named SQUIDward? And how is he an octopus with only six tentacles? According to this Insider article, the creator said it was just easier to animate six legs. Sounds fake, but okay.

Roadrunners aren’t fast:

Throwback to The Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote. Turns out, the coyote should have won all along! Apparently roadrunners max at about 20 mph while coyotes can reach 43 mph. Did Looney Tunes not have a team of fact checkers?

Um, so about those velociraptor noises in Jurassic Park:

So it turns out that those creepy snarls and barks that came from the Velociraptors were actually the sounds of turtles having sex. I’ll give it to the sound guys. They were creative.

I should probably mention the Cowardly Lion’s costume, too:

If we’re mentioning Jurassic Park’s creativity, then we have to give points out to the Wizard of Oz’s, ah, authenticity. Wanting to make the Cowardly Lion’s costume look as real as they could, they used actual lion’s fur. Yikes.

Pretty much every classic Disney princess story ever:

That’s an entire article in and of itself. Basically, most of the sweet and lovable Disney princess stories were actually really awful. Like very triggering, NSFW type stuff. Usually you can blame the Grimm brothers who came up with a lot of the original stories for our famous princesses.

The Cookie Monster’s real name is Sid:

I thought his name was just “Cookie Monster?” I feel like knowing he has an actual name makes the moniker “Cookie Monster” a lot meaner.

I feel like writing this article just took 30 years off of my life and completely took away my childhood. The next time you’re reminiscing and watching an old favorite of yours, try not to think about how they’re completely lying to you.