A lot of people advocate making lemonade out of lemons when life gets you down. However, I always choose to follow in the path of Aquamarine and seek solace in a comforting pint of one of Ben & Jerry’s most iconic flavors, Phish Food®. On my last trip to this chocolate world of understanding, I wondered what it would really be like to live there. What kind of a place is almost as iconic and comforting yet chock-full of many different elements. Then it hit me: I know what it’s like to live there because I already do. Phish Food® is Hamilton College in a perfectly packed paper pint. Although most know this college as “that one that’s not Colgate” or “not the musical”, we students know it as our solace. A place where we can truly be ourselves, and despite our differences, swirl together to form the perfect combination. I then began to think about the individual flavors of Hamilton, those refurbished houses and concrete waffle-like buildings that we call home. Which Ben & Jerry’s flavor would each dorm be?
Special thanks to Ben & Jerry’s for the flavor descriptions and great ice cream!
1. Anderson: Urban Bourbon®
“Burnt Caramel Ice Cream with Almonds, Fudge Flakes & Bourbon Caramel Swirls”
Bourbon is an icon of the South, along with tightly knit communities and hospitality. So it is no surprise that this flavor is linked to Anderson. Anderson is one of the furthest buildings down the hill, isolating it from other residence halls and the residents within them. For this reason, those who live in Anderson become very tight and often go on to live together afterwards. The inside is dotted with typical student paraphernalia such as loose leaf paper, athletic equipment, and tons of snow boots, as well as furniture that is communally paid for by the residents. Visitors are always greeted with a smile, open arms, and open doors as only Anderson residents can swipe in with their HillCard. Just like how there’s nothing better than Southern hospitality, there’s nothing better than the down home spirit of Anderson.
2. Babbitt: Chocolate Fudge Brownie®
“Chocolate ice cream with fudge brownies” Along with its partner in crime, Milbank, Babbitt is considered to be one of the most quintessential Dark Side places on campus. To an outsider it might appear to be a stone prison as its simple architecture and secluded location give it a nondescript look; however, students at Hamilton College know that the building could not be further from this. Budding with art majors, impressive instagram backgrounds, and tons of space to party, Babbitt could not be more alive with the Dark Side vibe.
3. Bundy East & West: New York Super Fudge Chunk®
“Chocolate Ice Cream with White & Dark Fudge Chunks, Pecans, Walnuts & Fudge-Covered Almonds”
This pairing is one of the most logical ones on this list. Both Bundy dorms are at the bottom of the hill, meaning that come winter these residents must face an uphill trek so challenging that it makes Mount Everest look like a speed bump. Due to its location far away from the campus, Bundy residents often find themselves needing to make their own fun, and so weekends are full of partying, drinking, and other loud behaviors. The dorm rooms themselves are tiny with very thin walls, so privacy is at a minimal level. Who would be crazy enough to actually want to live here? Nuts (pecans, walnuts, and almonds), that’s who!
4. Carnegie: Americone Dream®
“Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Waffle Cone Pieces & a Caramel Swirl”
Due to its proximity to the athletic center, gym, and fields, Carn tends to be filled with athletes. Athletes who after a long week of hard work, early training sessions, and games like nothing more than to party. Then Monday comes along and the whole cycle begins again. Work, play, party. This is pretty standard for most athletes across American campuses, leading me to consider this schedule to be the college version of the American dream: the harder you work, the more work you get done, and thus the more time that you have to party.
5. CoOp: Bob Marley’s One Love®
“Banana ice cream with caramel (9%) and cookie (6%) swirls and chocolatey peace signs (4%)”
This Ben & Jerry’s flavor is unique as its profits go towards funding youth programs in Jamaica. This concept of social responsibility in a pint is similar to the residents of this historic stone building in that they espouse social responsibility. The small number of residents in the CoOp spend the year helping one another out by taking turns cooking meals and banding together to fight for social justice on campus, most recently freedom of speech.
6. Dunham: Everything but the…®
“A Collision of Chocolate & Vanilla Ice Creams mixed with Peanut Butter Cups, Fudge-Covered Toffee Pieces, White Chocolatey Chunks & Fudge-Covered Almonds”
The quintessential first year dorm. “That” dorm. Dirty D. No matter what you call it, we can all agree on one thing: Dunham is the entire college experience in one residence hall. From butter-covered faucets to recycling bins full of vomit, from halls littered with crushed Bud Light cans to the occasional bong masquerading as a flower vase, in Dunham you will see everything and anything, usually in the same night. You never truly know what you are going to experience when you swipe into this building but you can guess that it won’t be simple
7. Eells: Half Baked®
“Chocolate & Vanilla Ice Creams mixed with Gobs of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough & Fudge Brownies”
What’s that earthy, sweaty smell? Oh that’s right, it’s the pot dorm, Eells. From residents to visitors, well over half of the people in this building are high at any given time. Enough said.
8. Ferguson: Chubby Hubby®
“Vanilla Malt Ice Cream with Peanutty Fudge-covered Pretzels with Fudge & Peanut Buttery Swirls”
This year Ferguson is fraught with fraternity brothers who, true to the college stereotype, guzzle beer and throw parties at all hours of the day and night. What would a party be without the quintessential snack food, pretzels? Unfortunately, both too many pretzels and too much beer can lead to the engorgement of a certain body part, most commonly known as a beer belly, or in the case of pretzels and excessive food consumption, simply a belly.
9. Griffin Road: Banana Split®
“Banana & Strawberry Ice Creams with Walnuts, Fudge Chunks & a Fudge Swirl”
Much like the banana in traditional ice cream sundaes, Griffin Road is split… from the rest of campus that is. As G-Road doesn’t occupy a central position on campus, there tends to be a lot less supervision, meaning that things tend to be crazy. Many parties, activities, and events take place here, sometimes at the same time, similar to how all of the individual components of this flavor unite to form its profile.
10. Keehn: Marshmallow Moon®
“Vanilla Ice Cream with Marshmallow & Graham Cracker Swirls & Fudge Chunks”
Keehn is located on the dark side and is the closest dorm to the Kirkland Glen, allowing residents the opportunity to partake in all sorts of activities under the full (marshmallow) moon, including nature walks, stargazing, and picnics
11. Kirkland: Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz®
“Coffee Ice Cream with Espresso Bean Fudge Chunks”
Located one building away from the library and a short distance from the Science Center, Kirkland has the reputation of being a seriously studious residence hall. Adding to this reputation is the fact that it is sub-free and so there is a lack of noise and partying, the typical college atmosphere. Its location and noise level attract many science majors and pre-med students who use the lack of commotion to focus on their studies, and location to allow for easier access to their classes. However, the sciences and the medical field are hard, leading to many late nights fueled by coffee in all shapes and forms. These students need caffeine, STAT.
12. Major: Milk & Cookies®
“Vanilla ice cream with a chocolate cookie swirl, chocolate chip & chocolate chocolate chip cookies”
What distinguishes Major from other freshman residence halls is its tight, familial bond. Here you can find residents who seek comfort in their neighbors, floors that come together to form families, and RAs who host cute events such as “story night”. And what goes better with a bedtime story than milk and cookies?
13. McIntosh: Red Velvet Cake®
“Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream with Red Velvet Cake Pieces & a Cream Cheese Frosting Swirl”
From the warm lighting to the cozy wood paneled common spaces to the 70’s-esque bathrooms, McIntosh screams home. Simply spending five minutes in there will leave you snuggling into a plush blanket with a mug of Chamomile in one hand and a good book in the other. Such a comfy vibe needs to be paired with an even comfier, more familiar flavor like cream cheese and freshly baked cake with red coloring added for a warm color glow.
14. Milbank: Chocolate Therapy®
“Chocolate ice cream with chocolate cookies & swirls of chocolate pudding ice cream”
Most people consider Milbank and Babbitt to be the exact same; they are both suites after all. However, a true Continental knows that that is completely false. Milbank is closer to the art center, KJ, and Opus 1 than Babbitt is, and residents tend to throw crazier parties. Milbank is Babbitt’s darker older sister, the dark chocolate to her milk.
15. Minor: Mint Chocolate Cookie®
“Peppermint ice cream with chocolate cookie sandwiches”
Anyone who has ever tasted peppermint, or any other type of mint for that matter, knows that it tastes fresh, feels chilly, and stands out no matter what it is mixed with, in this case, the chocolate sandwich cookies. Similar to peppermint, Minor sticks out, as it is one of the calmest dorms on campus due to its sub-free designation. It also sticks out in that it tends to be relatively free of drama, as residents tend to keep to themselves. However that doesn’t mean that Minor is full of loners. Like the addition of chocolate cookie sandwiches to this flavor, Minor residents know when to pepper in conversation but also when to respect another’s privacy.
16. Morris House: Tonight Dough®
“Caramel & Chocolate Ice Creams with Chocolate Cookie Swirls & Gobs of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough & Peanut Butter Cookie Dough”
Anyone who has ever watched the Tonight Show knows that it is chock-full of different segments such as the Wheel of Musical Impressions, Lip Sync Battles, and thank you notes. No matter the night, something is always going on, which is most likely why this flavor got its name as it mixes caramel, chocolate, cookie dough, and peanut butter into one. Another place much closer to campus where there is almost always something going on is Morris House. The most likely reason is its residents, all of whom are on different sports teams. As such, there are always victories to celebrate, making MoHo the hub of partying on the light side.
17. North: Boom Chocolatta! Cookie Core®
“Mocha & Caramel Ice Creams with Chocolate Cookies, Fudge Flakes & a Chocolate Cookie Core”
Due to its proximity to the library, North is commonly thought of as a quiet dorm. Well, for that reason and due to the fact that it’s a freshman dorm so it’s technically sub-free. Usually this perception is correct and it is quiet… until the weekend that is! The weekend is when North comes alive to shed its demure reputation and attempt to rival the noise level of the dorm directly across from it, Carnegie.
18. Rogers: Chunky Monkey®
“Banana ice cream with fudge chunks and walnuts”
Most consumers consider Banana to be a pretty hit-or-miss flavor, meaning that companies either get it perfectly right or perfectly wrong. Due to this, most food companies steer away from banana flavoring as it can be a gamble, just like living in Rogers. So far away that it is basically off-campus, most people see it as a last resort, the Hail Mary play before Bundy. It’s also sub-free, meaning that there might be less noise and distraction, but that there might not be a lot going on in terms of parties. Such a gamble of a dorm deserves a gamble of a flavor.
19. Root: Vanilla Caramel Fudge®
“Vanilla Ice Cream with Swirls of Caramel & Fudge”
While its exterior suggests that it is a plain building, Root is most definitely not. Over the summer it went through a series of renovations, the most exciting one being that residents can now control the temperature in their own rooms. Root: the classic dorm with a new twist.
20. Saunders: Cherry Garcia®
“Cherry Ice Cream with Cherries & Fudge Flakes”
Cherry Garcia® is Ben & Jerry’s most iconic flavor yet not a lot of people know about it. Perhaps it is the nontraditional base, cherry ice cream, that steers consumers away, leaving its identity to be known only by the most intense Ben & Jerry’s fan. Similar to how only the most intense Continentals know about Saunders, the quaint apartment tucked away behind Wellin. As most students live far below Wellin, few have the need to venture past it hence the lack of knowledge about Saunders. For this reason, Saunders is Cherry Garcia®, the iconic yet overlooked flavor or dorm.
21. Sken: Peanut Butter World®
“Milk Chocolate Ice Cream with Peanut Buttery Swirls & Chocolate Cookie Swirls”
Sken is best known for being, arguably, the residence hall on campus with the most perks. Although it is considerably further down the Hill, it is the only residence hall that has elevators, meaning that these lucky students will never be forced to bear the burden of carting all of their earthly dorm possessions up or down more stairs than they knew existed. It also features some of the largest dorms on campus ,which coincidentally are some of the only air conditioned rooms on campus. Due to its trifecta of perks: elevators, large rooms, and air conditioning, you can’t go wrong in Sken, just like how you can’t go wrong with an ice cream flavor that contains chocolate, peanut butter, and chocolate cookies. In other words, in Sken, you are on top of the (peanut butter) world.
22. South: Cinnamon Buns®
“Caramel Ice Cream with Cinnamon Bun Dough & a Cinnamon Streusel Swirl”
In order to understand this pairing, you must first understand the structure of a cinnamon bun. Although the entire cinnamon bun is tightly coiled, the inner swirls of dough are more so, meaning that it is easier to dig into the outer swirls. The level of interaction that you have with the cinnamon bun depends on which swirls you are dealing with, similar to how the level of interaction within South depends on the cluster of rooms that you are dealing with. As South consists of an assortment of quads and doubles connected by common rooms or bathrooms, the level of interaction really depends on which resident you are choosing to interact with. You can either be very outgoing like the outermost swirls of a cinnamon bun, or reserved like the innermost swirls.
23. Wally J: Keep Caramel and Cookie On®
“Caramel malt ice cream with shortbread cookies, fudge flakes, and caramel swirls”
In the most recent housing lottery, Wally J was designated as a residence hall for the duration of the fall semester but not the spring, due to reconstruction. As living in it would entail residents having to move in the middle of the school year, not a lot of people wanted to live there, leaving it to be full of those whose low lottery numbers could not save them from this fate. The few who did choose to live here over any other building were enticed by the notion that many upperclassmen study abroad during the spring semester, vacating their rooms, and thus leaving them open for individuals to live in during the spring. As most of these students are upperclassmen, they tend to have the most desired dorms on campus and so choosing to live in a dorm that necessitated a move halfway through the year had the potential promise of elite housing. However the fact remains that no one really wants to live in Wally J. Those poor souls who found themselves there most likely only survived by adopting the mantra of keep calm and carry on, or in the ice cream world, Keep Caramel and Cookie On®. Wally J was the ultimate test of strength for these residents as they battled wasp nests, treks up the Hill, and the dark, dingy hallways that this residence is known for, all in the hope that they would eventually have better housing. Just like how consumers battle through stretches of sticky caramel swirls and caramel malt ice cream to make it to the revered fudge flakes and shortbread cookies lurking far off in future spoonfuls.
24. Wertimer: S’mores®
“Chocolate Ice Cream with Fudge Chunks, Toasted Marshmallow & Graham Cracker Swirls”
Almost everyone spends the colder months counting down to summer, but only a select number of them spend that time counting down to summer camp. At summer camp, the place where you sleep determines your best friends, your cabin- or tent-mates gather over standard, predetermined meals, and you form relationships that last for life. Wertimer is like summer camp as the small number of residents bond together over predetermined Commons meal options and forge friendships that last throughout their four years here. Students who end up there often find themselves longing for the classic food staple to accompany this familiar, camp-like vibe: s’mores.