It’s happening; the red hearts are caving in on us.
Your pharmacy has been converted into cupid’s bedroom, store windows are tinted pink, restaurants are flaunting their “couple’s” menus, and it’s become nearly impossible to go about your day without the nagging reminder that Saint Valentine lurks among us.
This is not to say that we’re all cynical love-haters, (nor are we nauseated by the sight of chocolates and roses); but the pressure of this ubiquitous holiday can cause both women AND men – both single AND taken – to yearn for the simpler days.
You all know what I’m talking about:
The days when Valentine’s Day meant buying a box of fold-up valentines (featuring your favorite sports teams, Nickelodeon shows, or Disney characters) and passing one out to EVERY person in your class. Our teachers let us eat candyall day, and the M.S.I.T.s (Martha Stewarts in Training) AKA “class parents” organized parties with endless amounts of heart-shaped cookies, red-frosted cupcakes and conversation hearts. Yea…we were livin’ the dream.
But as we got older, this sugarcoated elementary school version of Valentine’s Day slowly disintegrated. Suddenly, the holiday became less focused on sharing love with friends and classmates and more about secret admirers, red roses, and romance. We were no longer guaranteed to receive two-dozen valentines; nor did we exchange boxes of conversation hearts with our best friends.
Instead, we let companies like Victoria’s Secret and Hallmark brainwash us into thinking that Valentine’s Day is exclusively a celebration of romantic love; misleading us into believing that we could only honor the holiday if we had “a lover” to share it with.
Subsequently, Valentine’s Day has become associated with increased dread, stress, and pressure:
- Single people dread the national reminder that they are single.
- Un-defined couples stress about whether or not they should celebrate the holiday or if it’s too soon in their (questionable) relationship.
- Romantic partners put pressure on themselves (and one another) to create the perfect evening; complete with the perfect meal, the perfect flowers, the perfect chocolates, and of course the perfect gift.
But perhaps our elementary school selves were onto something.
While it’s wonderful to have a romantic partner to share the day with, significant others are not the only “special some ones” in our lives. Why should this holiday focus exclusively on romantic love? What about the love we have for the people who have been there for us all along – and will continue to be there for us if our romantic relationships ever fall apart?
At the risk of sounding cliché, (or too much like a Carrie Bradshaw wannabe), a girl’s best friends often feel like the true loves of her life. How could Carrie have survived her ‘Big’ mess or Aidan catastrophe without Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha by her side?
Where would any of us be in our relationships without having girlfriends to console for advice?
The guys may be the ones we flirt with, but the girls are the ones we count on to decode the flirting with afterwards. They’re the ones who support us when we feel lost, are honest with us when we’re out of line, and comfort us when we have our hearts broken. They’re the source of all of the good times, and they’re the helpers through the bad.
So this Valentine’s Day I urge everyone – whether you’re single or in a relationship – to take a moment away from your chocolate feasting (or love-making) and remind your girlfriends how much they mean to you. After all, there’s no law against having multiple valentines; so don’t be afraid to go back to your elementary school roots and tell everyone important to you that you care about them.
(Of course, I’m not telling those of you in relationships to neglect your man. I’m just reminding you that he’s not your only valentine…Show your girlfriends some loving too!)
So now, to answer Tina Turner’s infamous question, “What’s love got to do with it?” Romantic love doesn’t (necessarily) have anything to do with it!
Let Valentine’s Day be about the love you have for your friends, the love you have for your family, and most importantly: the love you have for yourself. If we can stop stressing about finding the romantic love, we’ll be better able to focus on the other loves of our life…. And if that doesn’t work for you, there’s always chocolate.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!