A creative, fiction piece
I wish he never lied and was just honest. I wish I knew his secret far before I ever learned his name, because I would’ve kept my distance. He knew the type of girl I was when we first met, and knew I wouldn’t have let him in if I had known everything.
Right now I am studying for my nursing exam coming up next week, while the babies are sleeping. They are so cute, they look just like me. They have my dark brown eyes, my thick eyebrows, and brunette hair, but they had the button nose and light skin tone of their dad. My babies were growing so fast, I completely forgot about my exam.
This is exactly what I wanted and I knew that. I was in a one bedroom apartment in a safe barrio in San Jose, California. I was in the states and on top of that legally with a real passport and visa. Not my real name, but everything else was true. I was also enrolled in school and working on a career that helps other people. Everything was in place the exact way I always hoped for, except my family and Axel were absent. It was just me and the babies.
My neighbors are all Mexican old women who already have children. When I first moved in, they were very curious to know why I was alone and pregnant. I made up a story that my family disowned me and I crossed over with a coyote. After that they didn’t ask anymore questions, because it was one of the most common reasons why women my age came over fromMexico.
The women took care of me the minute I moved in. They had their sons help me with boxes and they helped me clean and put everything in its place. They cooked me caldos and guisos, just like my moms, when it would get cold. When I was too big to move, they would get groceries for me and make sure my home was clean. They were the ones to call the ambulance when I went into labor and were the first to meet the babies. These women were my home away from home, and I was more than blessed to have met them.
I still had contact with my two sisters; Andrea and Alexis. They were still upset with me about leaving Sinaloa, but they never failed to facetime the babies. I wish I could tell them why I left. They were mad at their sister, but they didn’t sit out of their tia responsibilities. They would send something from home every time the babies turned another month. For their first month, they sent hand knitted mitts, then for the second month they got a hand knitted sweater that matched their mitts. I knew my babies would never lack anything, because of my sisters.
I had no choice but to leave or they were going to kill me and my babies. I told Axel how much I didn’t want that life for myself – but he hid everything for so long that he had no way out. I was always understanding, and I think at some points I was just too understanding. He promised me protection, but I never imagined the type where I would have to leave everything that I knew. I never wanted to be a single mother. I wanted Axel to step up physically and emotionally, not just financially, but I knew he had no other choice.
I envisioned everything that I have now: two beautiful babies, a nice apartment in the states, and my career. I just needed my sweet Axel to piece everything together.