A guide to your new long-distance relationship
Being in a long-distance relationship can be very difficult especially in a different time zone and then, add on the pandemic! It might seem impossible and everyone in college tends to be pessimistic about couples attempting to do long distance and mocks them with the typical “it won’t work out” and many other discouraging statements. I am here to tell you, as someone in a long-distance relationship 3000 miles away from my partner and a 3 hour time difference that yes, it can work just fine if you put in the effort and you love each other. With that said, I am not here to pretend it is easy or in any regard, it comes naturally to me but as I have adapted to the new distanced setting with my boyfriend, I have overcome a lot and have come up with some tips and tricks!
Before anything… Evaluate your relationship!
First off, how do you feel about your relationship? Your significant other? Once you decide to do a somewhat long-distance relationship it is important to be emotionally in touch with your relationship and how you feel about your partner and their emotions. Sounds extremely deep and psychologically I know LOL, but it is good for me to mention as it was something that helped me a ton and helped me prepare for the long-distance because it made me feel more connected to my partner and more in tune with the relationship.
Tips and tricks
1. Talk beforehand about how much you want to Facetime and call so you can carve out that daily or weekly (whatever you feel is best) time for each other.
Facetimes with my boyfriend has kept our relationship alive. We personally love to talk every night and it is so nice to hear about each other’s day and “hang out” together. Prioritizing these calls are essential as you guys can’t be with each other right now and you want to make it feel like you somewhat are to the best of your ability!
2. Text when you can and communicate schedules or plans for the day
We can’t expect our partner to talk to us 24/7 and they can’t expect that of us! But what we can expect is communication about our day and let us know if they will be studying, in exams, going out with friends so we don’t worry as much! It is not a lot to want to know when your SO is doing in a healthy way because you aren’t there to experience life with them yet so it is normal you want to keep up! (and so you don’t overthink if they don’t reply for long periods of time). So yes!!! Communication is absolutely essential and plans for the day!
3. Plan some virtual dates, Netflix teleparties, and surprises
I absolutely love watching a movie or having a show with my boyfriend because we can do a Netflix teleparty together and feel like we are watching it together. It might not be the exact same as being in person but it is time we both carve out to be together and do something we love to do together like a date! Another cute thing that will make your SO smile is a letter in the mail or special delivery to their house/apartment. Thinking of them and taking the time to surprise them despite not being in person will light up their day, I promise. This time and commitment is so important and shows your SO how much you value them and spending time together!
4. Do not communicate about problems over text. Take the time to call face to face
I am grateful that I do not have many issues with my boyfriend (probably also why the long-distance is working haha). It is inevitable to have some problems, but we always call about them. Calling allows you to hear the person’s tone and through Facetime you can see their facial expressions and you can talk somewhat face to face. It feels like you are a team rather than just texting to another screen.
5. Set up trips to see each other so you have the next time to look forward too
Lastly, knowing when you are going to see them next is the best. I am in DC here but he is all the way in Southern California, 3000 miles away but knowing when I am coming home next or when he plans to visit is something I cherish the most. We actually set up “countdowns” on our laptops with the weeks, days, and hours until we see each other next. Even though it may be over a month or however long, we check it every day and slowly get more and more excited. If you don’t know when you are going to see each other for a long time, that’s pretty difficult to hold on to sometimes when things get tough.
In the end, being in a long-distance relationship is not ideal but if you meet someone you love and you want to be with them why not give it your all? You owe it to yourself and them! These tips and tricks have helped me and many people I love exponentially and I know lots of people are doing long distance right now with the unconventional times during this pandemic so I wanted to share some of my thoughts that have helped me survive something I never thought I would be able to do!