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The 5 People You’ll Meet This Holiday Season

Every year we come across different types of people during the Christmas season. From the Jingle Bell Rock-star to the Mr. Grumpy Gills himself, I’ll break it down for you right here:


1.     The “Buddy the Elf”

You’ll see this character running around the streets of New York City in his favorite ugly Christmas sweater knit by his mom last winter. They cannot go 5 minutes without mentioning Christmas or how much they love it. Their cologne of choice? Scent of sweet surprise, fresh peppermint with a splash of maple syrup. Trying to tear down Buddy’s love and passion for this time of year is the equivalent of raining on Barbra Streisand’s parade. You’ll also see them starting decoration preparations before October, so much so that their Halloween costume is probably a reindeer or Santa Claus himself! Garland will be hung for weeks in advance and gingerbread houses will fill every inch of your house with a sweet holiday smell. Studies have shown that Buddy can quadruple your spirit with just one verse of Jingle Bells. He’s the best person to have around you if you need some Christmas cheer… as long as you can handle it.

2.     The Gift Gloater

These kids are the ones strutting the halls come January flaunting all the new things mommy and daddy bought them this year for Christmas. It’s no secret that they think this season is more about the number of gifts they receive than the number of lives they touch. But even the ratio of gifts received to gifts given is off. They have no intention of lifting a finger this season, yet expect the world to be wrapped in a package and placed under their tree. If you come across one of these, make sure to teach them the true meaning of Christmas; The Polar Express always seems to do the trick. Make it your mission this season to give this materialistic monster an attitude adjustment.

3.     The Indifferent One

While unopposed to all the holiday festivities, this person voices neither appreciation nor distaste. In an attempt to engage in Christmas conversation, this person can always be heard spewing random, yet interesting, facts about the holiday. To prepare, this person raids their closet for anything that could pass as merry.  This person will most likely be the first to leave the party. They don’t hate it, but they’d feel more comfortable on their couch at home with their dog. They may drag their feet and they may not be thrilled to be there, but they’ll make the best out of the uncomfortable situation.

4.     The Scrooge

Beware; beware, when the Scrooge is there! This person just all-around hates Christmas and everything relating to it. There’s nothing that will brighten up this person’s mood. They’ll be dressed head to toe in all black because some part of them must have died that day. Getting ready for Christmas? This person is getting ready for hibernation. There’s nowhere he’d rather be than basking in his lonely glory at home. This person will not be attending any Christmas parties this year, so don’t get your hopes up.

5.     The Grinch who stole Christmas himself (AVOID)

If you thought that ol’ Scrooge was bad, you’ve got another thing coming. Whether this person had a traumatic experience with Christmas or they just hate the season, they will stop at nothing to make you feel the same misery. They will show up to the holiday party sporting everyday clothes, avoiding anything green and red. With a fake smile plastered on their face, they’ll go to extremes to make this Christmas horrible for everyone else. This person prepares for this all year, carefully calculating the destruction opportunities. Stealing presents? That’s for amateurs. They’ll be stealing the actual Christmas cheer from all the kids. They’ll tell them that Santa Claus isn’t real and crush their dreams with one breath.

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