These days, it seems like everywhere you turn someone is trying to give you unsolicited sex advice. Whether it’s your mom constantly telling you to use protection, your friends telling you about their one-night stand horror stories, or the media trying to fantasize every sexual encounter.
All of this information can we overwhelming and eventually you start to wonder; what really is the truth about sex?
Well, today we’re looking at some of the most common myths about sex and explaining exactly why they’re myths.
1. It’s like the movies
Sex in movies is probably the complete opposite of what sex in real life is like. No one rolls around a bed that effortlessly and movie sex scenes never include foreplay – which is like, the most important part of sex.
Busted: Sex in real life won’t be as smooth and effortless as it is in the movies – and that’s good! Those sex scenes are staged and hopefully yours aren’t. So don’t be bummed out if you’re not as graceful when switching positions.
2. Your first time should be special
Yes, sex is powerful and intimate, but you don’t necessarily need to be in love to have sex. I grew up in a Catholic school where we were taught that your virginity was sacred and was only to be taken by someone you truly loved. While there’s nothing wrong with waiting for that special someone, if you want to have sex with someone you’re not head over heels for, it’s perfectly fine.
Busted: Sometimes your first-time person is just someone to get the deed done and take the awkwardness out of it so you know what you’re doing when the right one comes along.
3. The more you do it, the looser it gets…down there
The vagina is highly elastic and is meant to expand and contract. When a woman is sexually aroused, her vagina naturally becomes “looser” so as to prepare for intercourse. After sex, the vagina tightens and returns to its normal state. It doesn’t remain chronically “loose” or become looser if she has sex again.
Busted: Pull on your ears for a bit, did they go back to their normal size? Yes? Okay, case closed.
4. It’s only enjoyable for guys
Sex is something meant to be enjoyed by both partners equally. While there is scientific evidence showing that it is easier for men to get off than it is for women, that’s not the end all be all. Sex should be equally as enjoyable for women, and if it’s not, then speak up girl! There’s nothing wrong with asking your partner to do something different if things aren’t feeling as good as they should.
Busted: Your pleasure is just as important as his.
5. The first time hurts
Going off the last point, sex is meant to be an enjoyable experience, however, your first time can be uncomfortable. There are some things you can do to make it more enjoyable, the most important being to relax. When you’re tense your vagina tightens making it more uncomfortable for a penis to enter. Lots of lube is also key in ensuring a good time.
Busted: Relax, communicate, use lots of lube, and your first time will be nothing to worry about.
6. “Pulling out” is an acceptable birth control method
Sperm released during pre-cum (before a guy ejaculates) are just as eager to fertilize your eggs as the sperm he releases during an orgasm. Not to mention, if your partner is too slow in pulling out, he may start to ejaculate before he’s completely removed his penis.
Busted: 4 in 100 women who use the pulling out method will become pregnant. Pulling out is an incredibly unreliable method of birth control and should not be your go-to when having sex. Use condoms, the pill, or other types of more reliable birth control methods.
7. Doing it more makes you a whore
There is still some negative stigma surrounding women who have a lot of sex when in reality it’s nothing to be ashamed of. As I’ve said many times, sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, and if doing it more often makes you feel good then go for it girl. The number of sexual partners you have does not determine your worth or respectability.
Busted: As long as you’re being safe there is nothing wrong with having as much sex as you want.
8. Size matters
I think that men believe women care a lot more about penis size than we actually do. Especially because many women get off through clitoral stimulation, we’re more concerned with what your fingers and tongue are doing.
Busted: Size doesn’t matter, it’s what he does with it that counts.
At the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re being safe and having fun. Make sure you’re communicating with your partner and educating yourself about your sexual health in order to ensure enjoyable sexual experiences.