If you’re a living breathing human being who has an active social media account then the words ‘love language’ should sound pretty familiar to you. It seems like almost everyone has taken the “5 Love Languages” quiz that is meant to help people better understand how to communicate what they need and what their partner(s) need when it comes to love.
But, are love languages really THAT important? To answer that question we’re going to have to answer a few other questions.
FIRSTLY, where did these love languages even come from?! From the perspective of a social media user, it appears that the love language concept surfaced recently, but it turns out that it has actually been around since the early 90s.
Trust me, I’m shocked too. I guess that makes sense though, trends from the 90s are having a moment right now.
In 1992, Gary Chapman published a book titled The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. This book consisted of five different ways a person can give and receive love.
Emphasis on GIVE. It’s not all about getting, let’s not forget that!
SECONDLY, what are the love languages?
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Words of Affirmation
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Acts of Service
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Receiving Gifts
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Quality Time
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Physical Touch
LASTLY, what does each love language mean? Here’s a breakdown:
1. Words of Affirmation
“You’re such a hard worker and deserve everything you’ve earned and more. I’m so proud of you.”
2. Acts of Service
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of the dishes tonight.”
3. Receiving Gifts
“The smell of this candle reminded me of you so I bought it for you.”
4. Quality Time
“I moved some things around in my schedule so we could spend more time together.”
5. Physical Touch
“Let me give you a massage before you go to sleep.”
SO, now that we know what all of the five love languages are and where they come from, are they really THAT important? The answer 100% depends on how you utilize them.
When it comes to love, communication is KEY.
Letting someone know how you want to be loved in advance can smooth out a lot of potential bumps along the road in the future of that relationship. The only issue with that is that most people don’t know exactly how they want to be loved and those that do may have a hard time finding the words to express that.
The love languages give us concrete terms to communicate our wants and needs effectively to our partner(s), which can lead to more long-lasting successful relationships!
DISCLAIMER:
Just because you’ve communicated to your partner(s) what your love language is, does NOT mean they’re obligated to follow it. Some people may not be comfortable with the amount of physical touch you desire or they may not have the funds to buy gifts as often as you’d like. This is where compromise comes into play and if that doesn’t work then maybe you guys aren’t that compatible, which is totally fine! Always remember, you’re not meant to be everybody’s cup of tea and that’s 100% okay.