Time is ticking away as my graduation draws closer and closer. Family is excited, constantly reminding me of the ticking, texting, and calling, asking me if I have any jobs lined up, classmates are happy wishing they were in my shoes preparing for another milestone, but as for me, I’m numb. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be moving along in my life, I’m just suffering from cold feet. It’s an exciting time, but the same question pops up every time-” What’s Next?”
I want to move, but I’m unsure what city would be best for me. I’m applying to jobs but having a hard time hearing back. Adulting is breaking down my door, looking to drag me into the real world where excuses are out the window.
I’m not scared of the ceremony per se; it’s what I worked my butt off for 3.5 years for. I deserve this ceremony. My fear comes from the unknown, I always live by the statement “you can’t plan life.” Life makes its own rules. It does what it wants when it wants and how it wants. You just go along for the ride.
That’s the scary part. . The real world is scary. My value has been determined by grades for 16 years of my life, and now you tell me that within two months, I will be a college grad working a full-time job where grades don’t even matter. Where my deadline isn’t for me to receive a grade, it’s for me to receive a check.
My cold feet aren’t because of the milestone, it’s because of the aftermath. My life is changing at a fast pace, and I can barely keep up. That’s why I’m writing this. As I step foot into the unknown, I have the confidence to know that no matter what direction I go in, I will be successful. I want to be able to look back at this and remind myself where I came from.
I want to be able to say the woman I was then was scared, but the woman I am now is fearless. I want to encourage others that you are not alone when it comes to post-grad fears. Journaling and talking about it is helping me process the changes. I would recommend the same to everyone as well. As college students, we are here to support each other. With that being said, check on your senior friends and be a listening ear. They might look happy on the outside but worried on the inside.