Did you know that at this very moment, 79,151 Americans are masturbating? That’s more than the entire population of Alaska! As surprising as this statistic sounds, masturbation is a completely normal, healthy behavior that many individuals engage in on a regular basis. Grinnell College’s Sexual Health Information Center (SHIC) broke the social taboo of publicly discussing masturbation during their masturbation workshop– one of the many events held during Self Love Week. Masturbating is an activity that undeniably falls under the category of self-love—it’s about pleasuring yourself while also learning more about yourself and your body. What’s not to love about masturbation? However, with so many stigmas attached to this activity, it is difficult to find the space and time to openly and honestly discuss and learn about it. This workshop offered the perfect opportunity for Grinnellians to do just that.
As we all learned from the workshop, there are some whack myths that are associated with masturbation, such as that eating Kellogg’s cornflakes will help control masturbation. The discussion of myths segued into a frank conversation about why there is so much stigma associated with masturbation and how people learned about masturbating. Certainly the stigma, which we concluded arises from religious beliefs and the patriarchy, almost always directly affects the ways that people learn about masturbating. From looking masturbation up on Wikipedia, to discussing it with friends, the students who attended the workshop concluded that there is no uniform way that young adults have to learn about this wonderful self-love activity. Bringing the conversation back to Grinnell, the facilitators posed the question: “How do you schedule your ‘alone time’ if you have a roommate?” As a group, we brainstormed a number of solutions: bring it up and talk about it with your roommate, text your roommate that you need some alone time, and work around their schedule if you know it.
From everything that was discussed, it seems that masturbation is a topic that individuals have to explore and negotiate on their own. Why should it have to be this way? Masturbation is the safest sex of all, and it is saddening to know that people still feel guilty about partaking in it. Furthermore, internalized shame can seriously threaten one’s individual health and well-being. If anything, there need to be more safe spaces for people to openly discuss topics that society has deemed taboo. It is absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age, masturbation is still seen as a “dirty” behavior. What is more natural than taking some time out of your day to learn more about your body while pleasuring yourself? For those who are struggling to become more comfortable with their bodies and selves, the facilitators presented a number of ways to help change those feelings: reading empowering books and blogs on body image, unlearning negative thoughts by educating yourself on the benefits of masturbation, introduce a toy during your “you” time, and remembering that the orgasm is not always the goal.
Learning to love yourself, or even just being comfortable with yourself is crucial in maintaining a healthy emotional, mental, and physical state. Masturbation is only one of the many activities that constitute self-love. While masturbation is a wonderful way to take care of yourself, there are a number of other activities that may have the same effect such as reading a book, going hiking, cooking a healthy and delicious meal, or having a deep discussion with a good friend. No one should feel pressured into doing something they’re not comfortable with, whether that is masturbating or any other activity. Nothing is wrong with you if you don’t masturbate or if you do masturbate on the reg. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you feel good about yourself and comfortable in your own skin. (Editor’s Note: Interested in learning more about sexual health and wellness? Visit SHIC on Main 1st for information and products to enhance your personal health and satisfaction!)