The beginning of the fall semester, by definition, ushers in the new. New classes, new crushes, new competitions (athletic and otherwise), and because we are the godforsaken Millennial generation, new forms of social media with which we attempt to reassure ourselves and anyone who will look, like, or listen that we are, in fact, uniquely attractive and hilarious individuals.
This year, the undisputed hottest new smartphone app on campus is Yik Yak. For those of you who are unaware, it is essentially an anonymous Twitter, or in other words, an online edition of the Burling bathroom wall. Yik Yak offers users the opportunity to share their 160-character “yaks” in live time with a local audience. On a small campus like Grinnell, this means that the 50112 feed is dominated by student commentary on hot button topics ranging from bodily functions to shout-outs, life hacks, campus jokes, and well, bodily functions.
Given a central feature that allows users to “up-vote” or “down-vote” each submission, the unstated goal of the app has become delivering the pithiest yaks that garner the most ups. This can be harder than it sounds. Whether or not your yak makes it onto the “Hot List” depends heavily on context, timing, and a balance of being original yet relatable. Want to yak your way to the top? Here’s how:
1) DO strike a balance between creative and familiar. The best yaks are the ones you read and find yourself nodding in agreement and wishing you’d written. In other words, aim to write a funnier version of what everyone’s already thinking and wishing somebody would say.
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2) DO NOT use Yik Yak to bully or rumormonger. While this rule may seem to go without saying, Yik Yak’s developers considered it so important that they felt the need to list it twice in their guidelines for using the app. Believe me, I am as sarcastic as they come, and I would be lying if I said I do not often find gossip entertaining. But for the sake of common decency (and not to mention, in order to avoid trouble with Grinnell and the law), please restrain yourselves. Rude comments may be funny in the moment, but they can cause a lot of harm, and engaging in this kind of dialogue is just bad form.
3) DO impersonate or refer to well-known campus figures IF you can do so in a way that is satirical, relevant and ACTUALLY FUNNY.
4) DO NOT use Yik Yak as a running log of bodily functions. Maybe I’ll get flack for saying this, but every time I see yet another unoriginal post about somebody’s harrowing bathroom experience, I want to shower in Purell. If you can’t keep it classy, at least make it entertaining.
5) DO NOT post about the same redundant topics. Because this is Grinnell, lest we forget, this outrage is usually related to a WiFi outage, bad weather, or schoolwork stress. One post about the latest campus wide drama is funny, five posts are forgettable, and more than ten are just frustrating. Unless you are sure that you can write the definitive yak on Grinnell’s hour without Internet, do us all a favor and don’t force it.
6) Last but certainly not least, DO have fun and don’t overthink your yaks! My most popular post was literally thought up in about ten seconds while I carried a heavy tray to my table and contemplated how embarrassing it would be to drop it.
In many ways, Grinnell’s close-knit campus is a Yik Yakker’s paradise. Chances are, when we graduate and move away, we won’t relate to the top yaks in our area in the same way that we communally laugh at clever campus-wide jokes and gripes. Perhaps Yik Yak’s popularity will fade out as surely as our time at Grinnell will eventually come to an end, but while we’re all here, let’s engage fully and make the most of it (P.S. This goes for your whole college experience).Â